The other night I went out for a juicy steak at Quality Meats, that new, very posh steak house in midtown and I ran into a guy who I knew back in the day when dorky guys were still dorky guys because they had yet to make their financial killing. Remember those days??
Well…believe you me he was one of those guys. I remember he always talked too much. I also remember he had this major crush on me, I am talking major; he asked me out about a gazillion times and I always said no. I remember one time I agreed to go with him to a Giants game “as a friend” I was clear on that, but he went and told everyone that we had a date, a day date no less which sounded really serious to a lot of our friends. Needless to say that was our last non-date date of any sort.
So fast forward about 7 or 8 years. IThere I was, minding my own business eating my petit Filet and chitchatting about dating, of course, with my female friend and up comes Mr. Non-date date from yesterdays past. He’s married now, had a company, sold it for bucks and now he thinks he’s really cool, I mean really cool.
I said hi to him and asked him how he was. “Well,” he said almost proudly, “my wife and I almost got a divorce last night.” "Oh,” I said, “I am sorry to hear that.” And I glanced at my friend a little uncomfortably. He went on to say, “Well you know marriage is really hard and if it weren’t for our son we probably wouldn’t be together right now. I think she’s a great girl and everything but I am just not sure we should be married. Our sex life is basically non existent and we fight all the time” My head started exploding a bit; can we say TMI!!! Too much information, did he really think that I, pretty much of a stranger to him at this point, needed to or wanted to hear that he is in a bad marriage or that he almost got divorced. How dumb was he? And his poor wife! I wanted to run not walk to my computer and send her an email and anonymously tell her that her husband was a putz and that she should talk to him about keeping their private problems private. The poor girl.
But as if this wasn’t bad enough, he went on to ask me if he were single would I go out with him. Now first of all, this is a really rude, I mean an incredibly rude question to ask a single girl because it’s really just a self serving hypothetical because he's not single and therefore not avaialble in anyway. Look at it this way, say I liked the Bozo- it was like he was taunting me just so he could feel good about himself. I didn’t even dignify the question with an answer. He smirked a bit and shuffled his feet, “oh come on Samantha if I were single, wouldn’t you go out with me? You never would in the past but admit it, now you would.”
I looked at him, and said sweetly “Why? So when it doesn’t work out between us, you walk around telling random people? Sounds like something to really look forward to!" And with that I turned away, leaving him in a state of confusion. The sad thing is I don’t even think he had any clue what I was talking about!
Lifestyle, romance and social buzz from a Modern-Day Matchmaker!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Almost out of friends...
Making friends in the "real world" is an interesting phenomenon. Right?
In high school and college it was easy- you met people in your classes, in your dorm, in a drunken stupor at a keg party! It was even easy to make friends when you were first out of school and working because you had both your high school and college friends to fall back on and the groups just kept expanding and everyone was just about six degrees of separation.
But then things started to change.... alot of your friends coupled up, a bunch got married, some moved to the suburbs and some got obsessed with working long hours so that they could afford the McMansion they overpaid for in the Hamptons. And then fast forward to now... you may be out of single friends or very near close to a deficit.
So what now??? You don't want to admit that you are out of friends, that you are panicked about with whom you are going to go to that next charity event, and with whom you are going to ring in the New Year; however, truth is truth, you are hurting in the friends category.
Here are some tips for finding some new friends, or at least for supplementing the ones you've got...
Reconnect
Go through your address book and send a "Hello it's been so long" email to some friends of the past. Chances are they will be super excited to hear from you.
Suggest staying in touch to someone who you meet through a mutual friend
If you like your current friends, chances are, you will probably get along reasonably well with their friends. So at the end of the next 35th birthday dinner you attend this week, trade emails with the person sitting to your left instead of just air-kissing them goodbye.
Don't stand on ceremony- you reach out first.
Desperate people must acknowledge their desperation and do something to fix the issue. Let's face it, you need friends and you need plans. Don't wait for someone to connect you, you do the contacting. And don't be embarrassed if you need to reach out two times before you get a reply.
Plan a "new friend get-together".
You are making new friends, perhaps they would all like to meet. Become Julie the cruise director and plan a dinner, people will be very flattered to be invited and will, in turn, invite you to something.
Don't be uncomfortable going out alone.
In most cities, it is totally accpetable to show up to an event alone especially during the week. You are better off going alone than sitting home alone.
Guilt your married best friend into being your wing-man.
Remind him or her how many upteen-times you were there for him or her in the past. Guilting them works every time!
In high school and college it was easy- you met people in your classes, in your dorm, in a drunken stupor at a keg party! It was even easy to make friends when you were first out of school and working because you had both your high school and college friends to fall back on and the groups just kept expanding and everyone was just about six degrees of separation.
But then things started to change.... alot of your friends coupled up, a bunch got married, some moved to the suburbs and some got obsessed with working long hours so that they could afford the McMansion they overpaid for in the Hamptons. And then fast forward to now... you may be out of single friends or very near close to a deficit.
So what now??? You don't want to admit that you are out of friends, that you are panicked about with whom you are going to go to that next charity event, and with whom you are going to ring in the New Year; however, truth is truth, you are hurting in the friends category.
Here are some tips for finding some new friends, or at least for supplementing the ones you've got...
Reconnect
Go through your address book and send a "Hello it's been so long" email to some friends of the past. Chances are they will be super excited to hear from you.
Suggest staying in touch to someone who you meet through a mutual friend
If you like your current friends, chances are, you will probably get along reasonably well with their friends. So at the end of the next 35th birthday dinner you attend this week, trade emails with the person sitting to your left instead of just air-kissing them goodbye.
Don't stand on ceremony- you reach out first.
Desperate people must acknowledge their desperation and do something to fix the issue. Let's face it, you need friends and you need plans. Don't wait for someone to connect you, you do the contacting. And don't be embarrassed if you need to reach out two times before you get a reply.
Plan a "new friend get-together".
You are making new friends, perhaps they would all like to meet. Become Julie the cruise director and plan a dinner, people will be very flattered to be invited and will, in turn, invite you to something.
Don't be uncomfortable going out alone.
In most cities, it is totally accpetable to show up to an event alone especially during the week. You are better off going alone than sitting home alone.
Guilt your married best friend into being your wing-man.
Remind him or her how many upteen-times you were there for him or her in the past. Guilting them works every time!
Saturday, September 2, 2006
HAPPILY HAMPTONS AFTER
Happily Hamptons After
It’s the end of August, the summer has heated up nicely and now it’s high time for you to couple up with the right person before you head back to the city for fall. You look the best you have looked in a long time. You’re tan, due to the perfect combination of the hard to get Anthelios Sunscreen SPF 60 for the face and the naughty but we use it anyway, Bain de Soleil orange Gelee for your body. You’re in great shape thanks to hot Bikram yoga at Exhale, the seductive pole dancing classes at S factor and great early morning bikes rides along the water. And you have finally perfected your summer wardrobe by grabbing some cute islandy dresses at Calypso, great espadrille wedges from Tory and adding some great steals for a good cause at the Super Saturday shop fest for Ovarian cancer. Yet, you still don’t have that special someone with whom to go wine tasting on the North Fork.
You have watched many of your friends couple up, hook up, even break up but regardless they have all had a flurry of activity in the romance department, and you have not. You even thought you did all the “correct” Hamptons things to do to meet that special someone like forking over the $200 for the Love Heals benefit that never happened, dragging yourself to a social beach like Main Beach or Sag Main as well as pulling yourself away from the sunshine and the pina colada’s poolside to hit the Polo VIP tent one too many times. But still nothing has hit. And now the summer is about to come to a close and you are starting to feel the heat!
Here’s some advice of how to meet someone great before you put away your summer whites or at least to hook up with that hottie you been longing for.
Be aware of karma.
You don’t have to be a yoggie or Kabbalah worshipper to believe that karma is important. People with negative energy repel other people so if you are really want to meet someone great, ditch the negative friends, surround yourself with people you have a blast with regardless of where you are and plaster a huge smile on your face. The opposite sex is always drawn to someone having fun
Try doing things a little differently.
Only crazy people do the exact same thing over and over again expecting different results. So find some sanity, and mix it up a bit. Try going to a trendy hotspot like Trata or Madame Tongs a little earlier than usual or even on a non-trendy night, you might be surprised at the interesting people who will be there just the same.
Do daytime co-ed activities.
Enough with the late night partying, the days are so much better! Socializing sans alcohol in broad daylight is just what this Love Doctor ordered. Grab some sunscreen and head to the great outdoors where activities provide the ultimate ice breaker. So… when you are at the beach don’t just observe the volleyball game, get in it. And think about getting up at 8 or 9am and joining a biking group or take that wind surfing lesson at NeapogueThrow a party.
Become a “hostess with the mostest.”
Keep in mind that the host controls the party list which gives you the perfect opportunity to invite that cutie you have been after all summer and to get your friends to bring all sorts of interesting people to meet you. Everyone loves a party invitation!
And some more Dating Do’s.
Smile at that hottie in the car next to yours on trafficky 27.
Suggest a co-ed dinner with some people you don’t know that well.
Get a permit for everyone’s favorite party- a clam bake on the beach and stop into the Seafood shop in Wainscott for all the spoils.
Send a drink or a wink in the direction of the person you have been admiring all evening.
Get rid of that person who isn’t all that into you anyway.
Skip Cain for a night, you don’t meet anyone there anyway, and try Turtle Crossing for reggae dancing.
Consider the guy or girl you know you have been eyeing all summer in your share house.
Wear a hat during the day - a great sunscreen and conversation starter.
Hit golf balls at Poxabogue in a very cute outfit.
Organize a co-ed poker game
Tell your party guests to skip the wine gift and bring an interesting friend of the opposite sex instead.
Wear that sexy white dress you’ve been saving all summer.
It’s the end of August, the summer has heated up nicely and now it’s high time for you to couple up with the right person before you head back to the city for fall. You look the best you have looked in a long time. You’re tan, due to the perfect combination of the hard to get Anthelios Sunscreen SPF 60 for the face and the naughty but we use it anyway, Bain de Soleil orange Gelee for your body. You’re in great shape thanks to hot Bikram yoga at Exhale, the seductive pole dancing classes at S factor and great early morning bikes rides along the water. And you have finally perfected your summer wardrobe by grabbing some cute islandy dresses at Calypso, great espadrille wedges from Tory and adding some great steals for a good cause at the Super Saturday shop fest for Ovarian cancer. Yet, you still don’t have that special someone with whom to go wine tasting on the North Fork.
You have watched many of your friends couple up, hook up, even break up but regardless they have all had a flurry of activity in the romance department, and you have not. You even thought you did all the “correct” Hamptons things to do to meet that special someone like forking over the $200 for the Love Heals benefit that never happened, dragging yourself to a social beach like Main Beach or Sag Main as well as pulling yourself away from the sunshine and the pina colada’s poolside to hit the Polo VIP tent one too many times. But still nothing has hit. And now the summer is about to come to a close and you are starting to feel the heat!
Here’s some advice of how to meet someone great before you put away your summer whites or at least to hook up with that hottie you been longing for.
Be aware of karma.
You don’t have to be a yoggie or Kabbalah worshipper to believe that karma is important. People with negative energy repel other people so if you are really want to meet someone great, ditch the negative friends, surround yourself with people you have a blast with regardless of where you are and plaster a huge smile on your face. The opposite sex is always drawn to someone having fun
Try doing things a little differently.
Only crazy people do the exact same thing over and over again expecting different results. So find some sanity, and mix it up a bit. Try going to a trendy hotspot like Trata or Madame Tongs a little earlier than usual or even on a non-trendy night, you might be surprised at the interesting people who will be there just the same.
Do daytime co-ed activities.
Enough with the late night partying, the days are so much better! Socializing sans alcohol in broad daylight is just what this Love Doctor ordered. Grab some sunscreen and head to the great outdoors where activities provide the ultimate ice breaker. So… when you are at the beach don’t just observe the volleyball game, get in it. And think about getting up at 8 or 9am and joining a biking group or take that wind surfing lesson at NeapogueThrow a party.
Become a “hostess with the mostest.”
Keep in mind that the host controls the party list which gives you the perfect opportunity to invite that cutie you have been after all summer and to get your friends to bring all sorts of interesting people to meet you. Everyone loves a party invitation!
And some more Dating Do’s.
Smile at that hottie in the car next to yours on trafficky 27.
Suggest a co-ed dinner with some people you don’t know that well.
Get a permit for everyone’s favorite party- a clam bake on the beach and stop into the Seafood shop in Wainscott for all the spoils.
Send a drink or a wink in the direction of the person you have been admiring all evening.
Get rid of that person who isn’t all that into you anyway.
Skip Cain for a night, you don’t meet anyone there anyway, and try Turtle Crossing for reggae dancing.
Consider the guy or girl you know you have been eyeing all summer in your share house.
Wear a hat during the day - a great sunscreen and conversation starter.
Hit golf balls at Poxabogue in a very cute outfit.
Organize a co-ed poker game
Tell your party guests to skip the wine gift and bring an interesting friend of the opposite sex instead.
Wear that sexy white dress you’ve been saving all summer.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Love Match-- Jeremy Piven and Carmen Electra
Jeremy Piven’s character Ari Gold in Entourage has catapulted him into super stardom, but he has yet to find his own leading lady. Jeremy is a funny man at heart who loves to send those sarcastic zingers in various directions. The woman I see him with needs to be able to hold her own, take his playfulness and throw some back his way. To hold his interest, the woman would need to be a stunner, but known and respected in her own right. My choice: Carmen Electra. She newly single, a truly beauty, but a little spicy and cool. This lady might just be able to give Jeremy a run for his money.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
LOVE MATCH... JIM CARREY & JENNY MCCARTHY
Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy
- This is Hollywood’s coolest funny couple. Funny, ha funny! We like them because their love seems fresh, exciting and fun. We like them because they compliment each other not detract from each other. We like them because she is so hot and he is, well funny!
Thursday, August 10, 2006
HOOKING UP
Hooking up.
Everybody seems to be doing it in the Hamptons right now, regardless of their age, regardless of the type of relationship they are ultimately looking for. It seems that going out to restaurants like Madame Tongs, Savannahs and Bobby Vans are in actuality just preludes to hooking up. I think that single people trick themselves into thinking that they might meet “their intended” at one of these places, and of course they might, but the probability of this is seeming lower and lower from the stories I am being told lately. More likely, people are finding other people male and female who are ready, willing and able to have a little fun, for the evening, no strings attached, and no contact thereafter. And yes, some people will lay it on thick and try to convince you that it is not just a one night stand and that there all sorts of romantic rose colored possibilities for the two of you in the future.
But, safe bet… don’t buy into the BS, if it sounds like BS, and you are suspicious, be suspicious and take it for what it’s worth- foreplay to a fun evening. If you enjoy, no, crave the flattery and the attention, go for it, but it’s better to go for it when you are being realistic about what it is and what it is NOT going to become than going for it with expectations that are going to cause a lot of obsessing and disappointment.
Some rules for hooking up (Not that I am condoning it or dissing it), just some words of advice…
---Don’t choose someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend, there are plenty of unattached people in the Hamptons, pick one of those.
---Make sure to end the evening or the morning as it may be with “I had a great time” “That was terrific,” or “Wow, so unexpected” rather than “I’ll call you to go to the beach later” or “Let’s meet out tonight” when you know you are never going to do this.
If you are going out with the intention of hooking up, come prepared with your own transportation. Nothing is worse for you when you have a friend begging you to leave and nothing is worse for them than when they are waiting around while you get action and all they get is aggravated.
As a guy, be prepared to buy drinks for ladies if you intend to woo them, this is expected.
As a woman, if you are looking for a little nooky nooky, don’t stand in a pack of women. Either stand alone, off to the side or with one friend. Men, even players get intimidated to approach large groups.
Smile- this is welcoming and will make someone approach you.
Be careful- regardless of how nice and how expensive someone’s clothes look to you, you never know what is lurking underneath. Use protection, after all, this person is a stranger to you.
Everybody seems to be doing it in the Hamptons right now, regardless of their age, regardless of the type of relationship they are ultimately looking for. It seems that going out to restaurants like Madame Tongs, Savannahs and Bobby Vans are in actuality just preludes to hooking up. I think that single people trick themselves into thinking that they might meet “their intended” at one of these places, and of course they might, but the probability of this is seeming lower and lower from the stories I am being told lately. More likely, people are finding other people male and female who are ready, willing and able to have a little fun, for the evening, no strings attached, and no contact thereafter. And yes, some people will lay it on thick and try to convince you that it is not just a one night stand and that there all sorts of romantic rose colored possibilities for the two of you in the future.
But, safe bet… don’t buy into the BS, if it sounds like BS, and you are suspicious, be suspicious and take it for what it’s worth- foreplay to a fun evening. If you enjoy, no, crave the flattery and the attention, go for it, but it’s better to go for it when you are being realistic about what it is and what it is NOT going to become than going for it with expectations that are going to cause a lot of obsessing and disappointment.
Some rules for hooking up (Not that I am condoning it or dissing it), just some words of advice…
---Don’t choose someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend, there are plenty of unattached people in the Hamptons, pick one of those.
---Make sure to end the evening or the morning as it may be with “I had a great time” “That was terrific,” or “Wow, so unexpected” rather than “I’ll call you to go to the beach later” or “Let’s meet out tonight” when you know you are never going to do this.
If you are going out with the intention of hooking up, come prepared with your own transportation. Nothing is worse for you when you have a friend begging you to leave and nothing is worse for them than when they are waiting around while you get action and all they get is aggravated.
As a guy, be prepared to buy drinks for ladies if you intend to woo them, this is expected.
As a woman, if you are looking for a little nooky nooky, don’t stand in a pack of women. Either stand alone, off to the side or with one friend. Men, even players get intimidated to approach large groups.
Smile- this is welcoming and will make someone approach you.
Be careful- regardless of how nice and how expensive someone’s clothes look to you, you never know what is lurking underneath. Use protection, after all, this person is a stranger to you.
CELEB NEWLYWEDS...
Pam Anderson and Kid Rock
Newlyweds at last. This on again off again love affair has spanned more than 5 years having met thru a mutual friend right after Pam divorce from Tommy Lee. We like them because their love has lasted thru turmoil and other couplings yet somehow they found their way back to each other. We like them because they both have an exhibitionist, life of the party side yet deep down they are both into family and keeping it real.
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