Here's what I know... A woman's definition of "sweet"

Did you ever notice that a woman gets more excited about telling her friends how sweet you were than she was when you were so sweet to her?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women love sweet gestures. They make them feel all gooey inside.

(2) Sweet is different from giving an 'obligation gift" on a birthday or on Valentine's Day. Sweet is when you get her flowers on a Tuesday, "just because" or when you send her an e-card or "a special email" (instead of your usual grunted, one word answers) just to say you were thinking of her.

(3) Sweet is the thing that the girls will brag about to their friends for a very long time."How sweet is this, he figured out from an old photo album that I love purple tulips and then he scanned the city to find them because they are so rare and got them for me. I never even told him that I love purple tulips and hate red roses, he just figured it out. Isn't that soooooo sweet?!"

(4) Sweet doesn't have to be expensive or even cost anything. Think...whatever will make her and her friends say "ahhhhh!"

(5) Sweet is different than sappy or queer. Sweet is when you bring her chicken soup and leave it with her doorman. Sappy is when you fly home to bring her chicken soup or you take off a day of work to rub her feet.

(6) Sweet is different than stalkerish. Sweet is when you remember that she loves rice pudding and you drop it off to her doorman while she is at the office, so she has a pleasant surprise when she gets home. Stalkerish is when you are sitting in her lobby waiting for her with rice pudding without telling her you were stopping by!

Here's what I know... When it's "right", it shouldn't be so complicated

Did you ever notice how sometimes you are literally trying to fit a square peg into a round hole when it comes to dating, but you are just so damn close to the situation that you don't see how ridiculous and wrong it all is?

Here's what I know...

(1) He should want to see you and see you a lot; if you are trying to convince him of this, this isn't the right sitch for you.

(2) Guys love sex, especially when they first start dating you; if he doesn't attack you and a lot, this isn't the right guy for you.

(3) People who like each other, find time for each other without spreadsheets and the help of two assistants!

(4) People who like each other compromise and makes things work because they like each other.

(5) Weekends are for couples, so if you have never seen him on one, something is not right!

(6) Guys like to show off their gal to everybody when they like their gal; so if you are fighting over meeting his family, his friends or even his dog, it's too complicated or he's married, so get out!

Here's what I know... "Must-haves" go out the window when you like someone

Did you ever notice that as soon as you "like like" someone, all those "must-haves", those characteristics that you absolutely thought you needed in a life partner get rationalized away?

Here's what I know...

(1) When you "like like" someone, you will start thinking to yourself that being with someone with a full head of hair or who can ski and golf just isn't that important.

(2) When you "like like" someone, you start wondering why you thought that one quality was oh so important yesterday but now today it just doesn't see to matter, especially when he is so generous in bed or when he bought you the most thoughtful Valentine's Day gift.

(3) Once you have been dating for a long time, you realize that connection is rare, so if you find someone who has many of the things you are looking for, but not everything, you tend to overlook the missing things.

(4) You should subscribe to my "85 % rule." If you find someone who has 85 % of the things you are looking for, you should run to the altar instead of holding off for the 100 % that you will NEVER get. Keep in mind, that if you "throw back" 85% to go fish again; the next person will just be 85% again, just a different 85%.

(5) "Love" makes you forget the little stupid things that aren't really that important because you feel happy.

(6) Everyone has a list of "non-negotiables" when it comes to finding their mate, but many times several things on that list really aren't non-negotiables, they are really just "preferences" that you can rationalize away in a heartbeat when you find the right person.

Here's what I know...If you smile, you can get a guy

Did you ever notice how you get a lot of opposite sex attention when you are feeling good about yourself and in a good mood and how you are pretty much ignored when you are sporting the sour puss?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men like happy women.

(2) Men might say they are attracted to negative girls or dramatic girls but they don't wind up marrying those girls or staying married to those girls.

(3) Men get reamed all day at work. When they come home at night they want happy and easy- this is what they are really looking for when they are flirting.

(4) A happy girl with positive energy who isn't that pretty will attract more guys than the sour puss supermodel, at least for the long haul.

(5) If you have positive energy, you should stay clear of your negative friends, they will just repel the men.

(6) A smile is welcoming, it just is.

Here's what I know... how to survive Valentine's Day

If you had to admit it, aren't you just a wee bit nervous about tonight?

Here's what I know...

(1) Plan to act surprised and excited; "act" being the operative word. Even if you know where you are going tonight because you snooped in his blackberry, feign surprise when you arrive there. And even if you have been to his restaurant choice 15 other times, pretend to be excited when you get there; after all this is the first time you are going there with him. He will be crestfallen if you act any other way.

(2) Keep how many cute gifts you schlep to the restaurant to a minimum. No sense looking like a tourist for christ sake. Plus keep in mind that it's only V-Day not his first Christmas!

(3) Dress sexy tonight; it is a dress or a skirt night, girls! Even if it snows, don that sexy dress, and let him see that you are putting forth the effort.

(4) Wear sexy lingerie or at very least matching bra and panties. You are going to get action tonight and just like you wouldn't want to end up joining the mile high club with unshaven legs, the same applies to lingerie of V-Day!

(5) You need to be prepared to "eww and ahhh" about his attempt at romance, no matter what. If you don't, he will never try again and certainly some effort is better than no effort!!

(6) Plan on being frisky. V-Day is the best foreplay so keep in mind that tonight is not the night to have a headache, skimp on the BJ or have to check on the kids.

Here's what I know... Rules for Valentine's Day gifts for MEN

Are you a little overwhelmed trying to figure out the right gifts to get your honey this year for Valentine's Day?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men prefer practical and useful over sentimental. He would rather get a new wallet than "personalized post-its' with your names on them or a heart frame with a photo of the two of you for his bedside.

(2) Men get freaked out by too much cute. He will be okay with one cute card, he will think his head is exploding if you get him eight! He will be okay with one Valentinesy stuffed animal thing but he will break up with you immediately if he comes home to an animal kingdom of red and pink sleeping on his bed!

(3) Men prefer sexy to raunchy. Yes, not a bad gift idea to get yourself sexy lingerie, greet him at the door in it and give him a gift certificate for an erotic 1 hour massage. Very bad gift idea to greet him at the door in a dominatrix outfit, black nails, black lipstick and nipple rings, unless he is into that kind of stuff and then it's probably not a gift because you are already doing that!

(4) Men like gadgets- this is a easy gift, it's safe and he will appreciate it. Find him an accessory for his Ipod or just look on the Sharper Image site-there will be something there.

(5) Togetherness gifts are not good gifts for men. A romantic couples massage class or tickets to a Broadway show are gifts girls like, not guys! Buy him something that he will enjoy himself and something you might not even like.

(6) Get the opinion of one of your MALE friends about your gifts and cards BEFORE you give them to your guy, so that your friend can approve them and confirm to you that come Sunday morning you will still have a boyfriend!

Here's what I know... Guys are intimidated by Valentine's Day

Did you ever notice that when you talk to a guy about Valentine's Day, he will say that it is a girl holiday or just a Hallmark holiday and he doesn't believe in it????

Here's what I know...

(1) Valentine's Day has been scaring the be-jesus out of men for centuries.

(2) Men know that V-Day is the day they have to step up and be a little romantic- it's like when they have to sing karaoke when they have a terrible voice- if everyone is doing it, they have to as well.

(3) Men put a lot of pressure on themselves to do V-day "exactly right" and as a result most of the time they do it exactly wrong!

(4) Men don't believe their girl when she says that "it's the thought that counts" and that they don't need to do anything fancy. They don't believe her because they have "lived through" torturous Valentine's days in the past.

(5) Men don't really give a crap about Valentine's Day even if they say they do. It's like when they feign excitement about going to the opera, the dentist or a Barry Manilow concert. Hence, any effort they put forth, any effort at all, a gal should be excited about and should praise.

(6) Men can't write gushy poems, they just can't, so don't expect one and be happy if he buys you are card and signs "love." Yes, we have all heard a guy read a poem that he supposedly wrote for his girl at a wedding or birthday party, but chances are, his best female friend or his sister wrote it or he copied it off the Internet; trust me, he didn't write it himself!