Monday, April 22, 2013

Samantha's Dating Tip: Spring Clean Your Dating Life

Spring is definitely in the air. As you clean your closets and put away your gloves and hats, think about  what you could be doing to clean up your dating life. Here are five tips:

  • Over the winter, did you go on a first date with someone about whom you couldn't make up your mind? Consider shooting him a text about meeting up again. You could find that your chemistry heats up with the warmer weather. 
  • Is there someone in your dating life who you continue to see even though you know it cannot, or should not, go anywhere? Throw off the weight of winter and sever ties with this person. Spring is a time for fresh starts. 
  • If you broke up with someone during the winter, use spring as an excuse to chase away your winter blues and become proactive about finding a great new guy. Let all of your friends and family know that you are ready to be set up with any eligible bachelors that they may know. 
  • Can you think of someone you met in the past few months that you are interested in, but he might not know? Take a chance and send him a flirty Facebook message. With some spring in your step, you might just land the man of your dreams. 
  • If you started seeing someone during the colder months and things are going well, think about the next steps you could be taking in your relationship. Plan a springtime getaway, or find a summer vacation rental to go in on together.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

10 Types of Women That Men Do Not Want to Marry

(Originally appeared on The Huffington Post on April 15, 2013.)

I recently wrote an article here on Huffington Post Women entitled 10 Types of Men Who Won't Marry You and in response to it, I have gotten over 1,000 comments as well as endless emails asking me why I hadn't written a similar list of types of women. As a result, I have created such a list here, using the opinions that I have heard from tens of thousands of men during my years working as a matchmaker. The fact is, if you are a woman and you want to get married, you need to be smart about your dating. This means avoiding certain male types, but it also means recognizing what you are doing wrong in your dating and whether the type of woman you are putting out there to the male population attracts or repels them. To figure this out, you can start by considering the list below and whether you, at times, are any of these quite unattractive female types:

Miss "Bossy Pants": This woman usually can't help herself; she has bossy in her DNA. When a man first meets her, he might think this character trait is cute, for awhile. However, once he starts to feel like he is in grammar school being told what to do by his second grade teacher, he will give this woman her walking papers.

Miss "Playing Games With His Heart": This woman thinks that being a game player will help herland a man. However, even though a man might be intrigued by a hard to get lady in the beginning, as soon as he decides that he is interested in her, all he wants is an honest straightshooter. If this woman doesn't remove Battleship from her repertoire quite quickly, she will be shown the door before she can evensink his vessel.

Miss "I Want To Change You": This woman is lurking everywhere. She is the type of woman many men are the most leery of. (Of course, there are some men who love this woman because of their own insecurities.) She claims that she loves her guy just the way he is, but little by little, she chips away at just about everything about him. First, it's his wardrobe, then it's his taste in music. However, when she gets to his friends and his hobbies, she is usually kicked to the curb.

Miss "Suspiciously Jealous": This woman is on edge all the time because she is very distrusting.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Samantha's Dating Thought: Don't Plan Dinner On A First Date


Time is precious, especially when you are single. And the last thing you want is to get stuck at a long dinner with someone for whom you just don't like.

 For this reason, I always advise that first dates be planned for drinks only. This keeps the pressure off because you always have the opportunity to dash off after one drink if you aren't feeling it and if you are feeling it, you can go for a second drink. And then if you are really really feeling it, then you can get dinner. (Or, you can plan dinner for their next date.)

 Have you ever gotten caught in an awful dinner date?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Samantha Says: When Dating, You Need To Be Happy

When you are going out on a first date, you only have one first impression to make... so try your very best to make sure it's a good one.

It is important to come across as happy, light-hearted and friendly; this is the type of woman that most men would want to call their girlfriend, and ultimately, their wife. Think about it this way: you wouldn't want to come home every day to someone who was a "Debbie Downer" either, would you?

Playing a difficult or a hard-to-get girl might attract him for a moment, but it will not work in the long-haul.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Samantha's Dating Thought: Are You Spending Too Much Time With Married Friends?

Are you spending too
much time with your
married friends?

If you're single and looking for love, it's important to put yourself out there in as many situations as possible where you can meet other singles. This means not hanging out with your married friends all of the time.

This does not mean that you have to kick all of your married friends out of your life. However, it does mean that you should not be spending your Friday nights dining in with them.

If all of your close friends have already gotten hitched, you can always ask them to introduce you to any other single friends they may who that are also looking to go out and meet other singles. When you're on the hunt for Mr. Right, it's always a good idea to expand your social circle!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Should You Get Married Or Is Monogamy Enough For You?

(Originally appeared in the Huffington Post on March 18, 2013.)

You have been with your beau for awhile now. You are exclusive, boyfriend and girlfriend, you are known as a couple in your social circle and you might even live together. And all seems copasetic. However, society favors marriage over just being a couple which is why living together without marriage has the old nickname of "living in sin". So how do you know if you are meant to be a happily unwed person forever or if it's time for you to head to the altar? Here are some things to consider when trying to make that decision....

1. Do you personally believe in matrimony? Deep down before you became all modern, did you believe in matrimony and like the idea of marriage? If so, maybe it's time to get back to your roots and take the plunge.

2. Will matrimony make you feel safer and more secure in your relationship? After all, marriage is more permanent than just being in a relationship. As easy as it is to get a divorce these days, it still requires some effort to get one. You can't just curse each other out and never speak again like you can if you are in a relationship without the legalities.

3. Is there a reason why you are "living in sin" at the moment? Is it because that was the next step in your relationship trajectory and marriage is next and you have just been lazy, or is it because this is what you and your partner decided was right for both of you? When you ask this question, make sure that the answer is coming from yourself , not your partner.

4. Have you refrained from taking the plunge into matrimony because you are acommitmentphobe and marriage seems so much more permanent than cohabitation? Be honest with yourself about this and if you are just scared sh**less about taking that next step, talk to your partner or to a professional about your fears and maybe you can work through them.

5. Have you hesitated about walking down the aisle out of lack of desire to plan a wedding?

Monday, March 18, 2013

10 Types of Men Who Won't Marry You


Have you ever wondered if there are guys out there that simply will not marry you? Are there certain men from whom you should just stay away because chances are, the relationship is going to be an exercise in frustration for you? You are not alone -- many women think about this all the time. And yes, there are certain types of men that you should just plain avoid because if you were playing the odds, the odds say these guys are just not going to seal the deal with you.

Here are 10 types of men that I, as a professional matchmaker, would recommend you steer clear of:

Mr. "Still Hung Up On His Ex": We have all been out with this guy. He says he is over his ex, yet at every turn, he talks about her and compares you to her. Please. He is not over her and until he is over her, he is not marrying you.

Mr. "I Am Not Ready For A Serious Relationship Right Now": This is the guy who dates a lot and then when he gets too close or decides he isn't interested in you, he uses the excuse that he's not ready. The question about this guy is this: Is he really not ready, or is that just a convenient excuse to dump you and avoid the commitment?

Mr. "Bigger Better Deal": You know this guy. He is the one who likes you a lot but is always wondering if there is a better version of you out there, somewhere in the universe. Honestly, do you need to be with the guy who is never going to think that you are good enough to marry?

Mr. "I Hang Out With Guys 15 Years My Junior": This is the guy who is 47 and a CEO of a company or a big-time executive and all of his contemporaries are married, so his BFFs are 25-year-olds and clubbing it. He is out until 3:00 a.m. several nights a week, looking to pick up and then he kids himself into thinking that when a 25-year-old girl says yes to a date with him, it's because he is such a good guy, not because she is dreaming of flying private.

Mr. "Still Trying To Figure Out His Career": If he is 40-plus and having a midlife work crisis, believe me, he is not going to marry you. Men need to be settled in their careers or at least know which direction they are headed on the career front before they can settle down.

Mr. "50-Something And Never Been Married": This guy is lurking everywhere. He is 50-plus and