Monday, November 28, 2005

Sniffing out Porky Pig online

I received an email this morning....

"Samantha, this online dating stuff is a joke. I swear to you that the last 3 men I have met thru it were all over 250pounds and somehow they wrote that they were medium build in their profile and their photograph didn’t make them look even a little heavy. I can’t take it anymore. What can I do to avoid this happening in the future?"

Wow, heavy man after heavy man, that's heavy, man! Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Of late, many many women have been complaining to me of this exact problem. It used to be that I would hear from the men that they hate online dating because all the girls put up old photos and then when they arrive, the women look nothing like the picture. Yes, guys I know that this continues to happen, however, recently there has been a run on problem photos that the men are posting as well. It’s strange to me that men would lie so blatantly about what they look like. I think it’s been proven that women are much more forgiving in the looks category than men are or will ever be so...

Men--- you are idiots if you trick them with an inaccurate photo. Ugly or heavy man a woman might be able and willing to handle, lies and dishonesty- NEVER!!! Get with the program- so you need to lose weight- there will be plenty of girls who will be willing to help you do so, if they like you and think you are a good guy. However, if you look like Jubba the Hut and you don't warn, she will hate you on site and YOU WILL BEVER GET YOUR SHOT WITH HER! NEVER.

So to answer our disgruntled writer's question... Some tips on sniffing out Porky Pig online....

Do ask him to send you A FEW photos- one he might be able to hide his weight in, several you might notice.

Do ask him if the photo is recent. No this is not a rude question- you just have to be polite in how you bring it up. Suggestion.... When you send him your photo, you write, here is a "recent" photo of me, please send me a recent photo of you." Then when each of you receive the other's photo- you can write "Nice photo, mine was taken last month in the Bahamas, when was yours taken?"- This way you provide the infomration about yourself that you are requesting of him.

Do listen to your women’s intuition, if it is telling you that something smells fishy, something smells fishy. Tell him a third person anecdote to scare him out of lying. What I mean by this is to tell him a story about a guy you met thru the internet that lied about what he looked like, sent you a fake photo and when you arrived to meet him, you told him off and left immediately. A story like this should make a liar realize that he will be wasting his time lying to you because you will leave immediately upon discovery

Lastly, do not believe a guy when he says he doesn't have a photo to send you. If you ask for a photo and he refuses to send you one, says he doesn't have one, or acts offended that you want to see one- expect that this means something bad. He is either heinous, overweight or unavailable meaning married or in a relationship and scared of getting caught. My advice here--don’t agree to go. All online daters have photos to email, all online daters know that it is common practice to exchange photos and all online daters should be willing to send you a photo, period!


Bitter but not hopeless, I hope...

I got an email this morning that read…
“Why does your blog have that name and why should I care? So what that I am alone, what can I do about it anyway?”

Hmmm, I thought I was clear about the blog name. I guess its back to bragging again (this time with a photo!).This blog is called Miss Match blog because I was the woman who the short lived but very cute NBC dramedy Miss Match starring Alicia Silverstone was based on. I figured… cute name for a blog, the show was quite an accomplishment and besides which Matchblog, my first choice was taken, so here we are!

Why should she care? Hmmm, seems like my writer is a bit bitter, which is understandable considering it is bleak and raining here in New York City and on every radio station they are playing Deck the Halls already and she is all alone.

Well my bitter friend, if you're single and you don’t want to be... you should care. Or if you are in a crappy relationship and you are not sure what do to do about it, you should care. Plus the holidays are approaching and it sucks to be alone, so you should care.

And to answer your question about what you can do about it...

A Do’s and Don'ts list would be appropriate here I dare say...

Don’t give up. Yes, sometimes you will feel like slitting your wrists but there is always a new day around the corner and with it come some more possibilities.

Do take stock of your life- what changes can you make to get different results. Maybe join a new gym or walk to work on a different route- anything that will have you interacting with different people to mix things up for you a bit

Do something frivolous- go buy that slinky dress you had your eye on, get your hair highlighted, get your makeup done before you go out to a holiday party, do something that will make you feel carefree.

Do reconnect with someone who used to make you laugh, alot. Even if you haven’t been in touch with that person in along time, they will be flattered to hear from you and if you come right out and say that you were thinking of them with a smile on your face because they always made you laugh, they will certainly oblige and make you laugh again.

Do make a New Year's resolution early but make it a resolution to accomplish by the time of New Years instead of after New Years, this way you will have a goal and purpose during the holiday season and any time you feel sad you can focus your energy here. if your goal is to meet someone by New Years this is fine but make that goal more specific- I am going to meet someone who ..... respects me, males me laugh, loves to golf like I do, wants to have children, etc. A goal that is just I want to meet someone is too general, being more specific will get you to focus on finding someone who will really work for you and will take you away from trying to find someone who has every single thing you are looking for in a partner, since we know that this is never possible- focusing in a bit will be helpful for you.


Monday, November 21, 2005

Blog 1- Welcome!

My name is Samantha Daniels, this is my first blog entry, so welcome to my blog. I was told that I need to tell you alot about myself, maybe even brag a bit if I want my blog to be your one-stop shopping location for all things dating and relationships. So here goes...

This blog is going to be about sex all the time, every lurid position, every dirty thought… Kidding, just wanted to get your attention! So, now that I have it…. Let me tell you a little about myself----- (And don’t be so disappointed, there will certainly be sex in the mix, but there will also be great dating and relationships thoughts, stories and advice- you’ll love it, trust me!) Okay, so now my bio…You might have heard of me, or at least I hope you have- I am a modern day Matchmaker in New York City and Los Angeles and own a company called Samantha’s Table, I have helped thousands of people get into relationships and I coach people on the do’s and don’ts of dating everyday. I provide dating and relationship commentary for TV shows like The Today Show, Good Morning America and Movie and A Makeover as well as for newspapers like USA Today and magazines like Glamour, US Weekly and In Touch.

Additionally I wrote a book that came out this year called, Matchbook, The Diary of Modern Day Matchmaker (Simon and Schuster 2005) which is a voyeuristic look into dating and relationships in NY. It reads like a cross between Sex and the City and Bridget Jones Diary, you will love it if you are currently a dater or have ever been a dater sometime in your life (I think that should cover everyone on the planet!). All the characters have nicknames like Dr Touchy, Looks Good from Afar guy, and Miss Golddigger- you will relate to my book either because you are Miss Boobs or Mr. Gazillionaire with the Pinky Ring or you have dated someone who is one of my characters. I will be plugging the books mercilessly throughout this blog because I am proud of my book and I really want you to read it. It’s sarcastic, honest, heartwarming and very instructional just like I am hoping this blog will be

I probably should tell you why I am writing this blog. Well it has to do with the fact that I have gone into no writing withdrawal recently. I wrote Matchbook last year, and I used to come home every night and download right onto my computer all the dating crap I was experiencing personally and all the dating crap I was being told about by friends and clients, for the purposes of my book. All that downloading amounted to 312 pages of a book and I found that it was as quite cathartic to have an outlet for sharing it.

Now, book is done, book is out so I am harboring a lot of dating experiences and craziness within- its not good for the soul. I need to share it all immediately. Yes, I will write another book but first I wanted to give this blogging thing a whirl- it provides more instantaneous gratification = I write, you read it immediately- sounds good to me! And you comment, a lot, and you ask questions and then I'll comment a lot, it sounds like a great symbiotic relationship, don’t you think????

How often will I write- I don’t know, I am going to try everyday, you can count on once a week certainly.

What will I write about? I will be writing about all things dating and relationships. Sometimes I am going to be answering dating and relationship questions that come to me from clients, friends or all of you out there in cyberland. Sometimes its going to be sharing my own personal dating experiences, good and crappy, and some times, it is going to be thoughts on dating, maybe when I see something crazy or I am asked five times in one week a variation on the same dating issue. Sometimes, I am going to talk celebrity relationships, other times I am going to take a look at relationships on TV (I am a TV junkie) or in movies ( I like those too).Oh and did I mention that sometimes I am going to plug my book, Matchbook- maybe include excerpts for your reading enjoyment. So feel free to write to me here with a question and I will give you some advice, some good advice- real advice. I am going to pick controversial dating and relationship topics, heartwarming stories, and give some real and kick ass advice.

So that’s it- happy reading, let me know you think and buy my book!