Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Love is in the Moon, TODAY

Sorry for my writing hiatus, but... I'm back.

And I'm back on a very special day. Today, actually tonight... there will be a HARVEST FULL MOON.

And for those of you who don't know what that means or why that is significant....legend has it, actually Chinese legend that today is a very auspicious day for romance!

According to the legend, on this day the Man in the Moon records all the names of happy couples who were fated to live happily ever after. Is it true? I really have no idea, but wouldn't it be nice if it were? Wouldn't it be nice if there was a proverbial Man in the Moon who was watching out for us and helping us meet our mate and live happily ever after? Sounds pretty romantic to me!

So... if you want to believe in the Man on the Moon today or if you are just hoping he might write about is a little advice for when you are out and about today and tonight...

1. Make it a point to smile at a few strangers, opposite sex strangers. This might open up a world of possibilities

2. Reach out to "a crush" today. You don't have to do anything overt or over the top; maybe just send an email and say hello.

3. Ask a friend or colleague if they know anyone for you... anyone single and sexy and fun. Who knows, they might just know your next significant other.

4. If you are in a relationship- married, dating casually one person or trying to make a go of or say one extra sweet thing today- it doesn't cost you anything to put a smile on that other person's face.

5. If you have a friend or colleague who is having a tough time of it right now- they are going through a breakup, a divorce, lost their job, are feeling all alone, reach out to them and say something encouraging. Karma is key and what comes around goes around especially on a day where a Man (or a Woman) in the Moon might just help you find true love!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Make New Friends but keep the Old

I just spent one of my first weekend in the Hamptons. In some ways it felt like an extension of summers past- we had dinner at one of my favorites, the Palm, and the same cast of colorful Hamptons notables were there as always, we stopped into Bobby Van’s for a little look-see and like clock work at about 11 pm, the woman with the enhanced lips and boob job sauntered in and we did our sunset bike-ride around the neighborhood and oohed and ahhed over the eight million dollar Post Modern on the corner and the Malibu-esque contemporary overlooking the beach. Yet, as much as things seemed the same, they were actually very different and people all around me seemed to realize that as well. I heard one woman in a dotted Swiss white baby doll dress at a Meadow Lane dinner party lament about her ex-guy who was now with a bleached blond, I heard another gal, the incognito type with a baseball hat and Nicole Richie sunglasses at Poxobogue exclaim about how the tall media guy who was a confirmed bachelor finally got hitched. And I heard a guy in flip flops and a black Polo shirt with a big horse on it joke about how he missed his share buddies of yesteryear, even the ones he didn’t really think he liked.
All the chatter made me wonder if people really wanted to turn back time or if they would just be better off looking to the future and approaching summer 2007 with gusto. After all, .if America is the land of opportunity, the Hamptons is definitely the land of making new friends, and having new adventures. So if meeting and greeting- whether it’s to replenish your rolodex, locate a tennis partner or find a person with whom to stroll in the moonlight- is your goal for your summer vacation, here are a few tips about how to optimize those encounters and meet someone great.

1. As you begin to reconnect with people who you haven’t seen in awhile, make sure you let them know you are single and would like to meet someone. Most times, people will only make an introduction, after you have asked them to do so.

2. Keep in mind that just because you see someone out with a person of the opposite sex does not necessarily mean that they are taken. Remember people have platonic friendships and brothers and sisters of the opposite sex too!

3. Try bonding over your hobbies. If you love to go bike riding, let people know that and someone will surely join you. If you love to golf, spend time at the driving range and chances are, you will be invited to go play nine holes.

4. Try sitting at a bar alone and talking to the people around you. By doing this, you will be so much more approachable than when you are surrounded by a pack of your friends.

5. Say hello to people on the street and in the restroom line. If people in New York did this more often, they would have the entry to strike up more interesting conversations.

6. Keep in mind that although new friends seem interesting that it is equally important to maintain your old friendships as well. You can never have too many friends.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


by Matthew Miller 05.30.07, 12:00 PM ET

Tommy was looking for love. As a blue-eyed, Ivy-League-educated biotech entrepreneur in his mid-40s who had taken several companies public, owned homes in New York, Colorado and Florida--and who had accumulated an eight-figure net worth--Tommy didn’t have a problem getting dates. But he didn’t want dates. As a busy divorced man with kids, he wanted a wife.
Enter Samantha Daniels, a Manhattan matchmaker with a reputation for being discreet and skilled at the art of the setup. For $20,000, Daniels set Tommy up with Gina (both names have been changed).
The two immediately hit it off. Each had two children around the same age, enjoyed throwing parties and shared an interest in politics. They were married a year and a half later. A month after the ceremony, Daniels received a bonus check in the mail for $150,000.
The world will always be filled with single people looking for love--and people who think they can pair them up. While the matchmaker is as old as history and thrives in cultures where marriages are arranged, in modern day America the need has created a market plenty have exploited, from speed-dating services and social clubs to online dating sites like and eHarmony.
Yet many singles are taking their dollars offline as the Internet has become the modern-day bar: too many choices, few suitable and often with high incidences of married folks looking for infidelity. All that leaves a niche for professional matchmakers.
Almost all of Daniels' paying customers are men, most of whom work in finance, the professions or entertainment. She won’t name names, but Daniels claims to be currently working for several professional athletes and A-list actors. She says she once worked for a member of the Forbes 400.
“There are several niches within matchmaking," says Daniels. "I chose to go after a high-end, highly educated crowd.” When talking about her business, she never fails to mention that she went to an Ivy-League school, has an apartment on Manhattan’s Upper East Side and a place in the Hamptons, and is very discreet, all qualities the single billionaire bachelor might look for.
Here’s how her business works: A lovelorn man will hear about her company, Samantha’s Table, through a friend. For $425 Daniels will meet him for a two-hour consultation. The meeting takes place in a social setting, often the bar at the Regency Hotel in New York, so she can see how he acts in that environment (“Does he spend too much time checking out the pretty girls walking around the room, or is he all business?”).
The man brings photos of his ex-girlfriends and his homes, plus financial records about his businesses. After filling out a one-page questionnaire about himself, Daniels peppers him with queries: “Do you prefer cute or sexy?,” “What’s your definition of ‘thin’?,” “What makes you laugh?” and “What annoys you?”
“The baseline for men is always looks,” says Daniels, who claims to be responsible for 75 marriages and more than a thousand serious relationships. “But everyone defines ‘hot’ differently. Once that’s established, if I can find two people who laugh at the same things and are annoyed by the same situations or people, they’ll probably work.”
If Daniels takes the man on as a client--she says she only works with 50 people at a time, and that 200 ask for a consultation every week--she will offer them a suite of services that includes dates, love-life coaching, styling and a personal shopper. Her minimum price today: $25,000 (though we think she can probably be negotiated down), plus a hefty bonus if she gets them married.
For $50,000, Daniels will do a “hometown” search. She says she recently flew to St. Louis to build a database of women for a local entrepreneur who was having a hard time finding a wife. She’s done 10 such searches so far.
Daniels, who works out of her apartment in New York and has an office in Los Angeles, arranges all of the dates herself. A first date is cocktails, and the man pays. One mistake Daniels no longer makes: throwing dinner parties. “One-on-one matchmaking is much easier,” she says. “Trying to get eight people in the room who might like each other on the same night is almost impossible.”
The evening before the first date, both the man and the woman get a confirmation e-mail with a small description of their companion, plus their cellphone number, which is only supposed to be used if someone is running late. Pictures are never exchanged. Daniels clients are forced to trust her.
Samantha Daniels was born and raised in Philadelphia, the oldest of three children to a lawyer dad and stay at home mom. She made up her first match at age 13, setting up her brother with his first girlfriend at summer camp. She set up her friends while studying at the University of Pennsylvania and in law school at Temple.
Ironic, then, that in 1993 she moved to New York to take a six-figure salary working as a divorce attorney. “It was driving me crazy taking people apart,” she says. She began to promote parties in the evenings as a way to help her young single friends find dates. She convinced nightclub managers to let her bring people to their venues free of charge in the early evenings, collected business cards at the door and put together a database of potential clients and matches.
Hosting events, including all female ones, remains a prime source of contacts. Today Daniels claims to have 10,000 men and women in her database, broken into categories such as Intellectual Petites, Ivy-Leaguers, Older Blondes, even Gold Diggers.
Her marketing strategy? Lots of hobnobbing. Daniels says she did just one direct mailing and shied away from magazine ads used by popular dating services like It’s Just Lunch. Instead, she hit the social circuit of charities and art gallery events--in one case in an attempt to meet 100 women just to find a match for one client. “You can’t put people together just because they might find each other attractive,” explains Daniels, who has no formal training in psychology.
In 2003 Daniels hooked up with Sex and the City creator Darren Star to produce Miss Match, a short-lived NBC comedy staring Alicia Silverstone, and whose name lives on in her blog. Two years later she wrote a beach-read novel Matchbook, about a year in the life of a New York matchmaker. She also hosts a weekly chat on
But when it comes to making moneymaking matches, just getting your name out there isn't enough. “A few bad matches and you are finished,” says New York matchmaker Fay Goldman, who runs Meaningful Connections. “Word travels fast, and every other matchmaker is looking for a chance to knock you down. You are only as good as your reputation.”
While the market for matchmaking continues to expand, Daniels maintains that she isn't afraid of the competition. “There are always going to be hoards of single people,” she says. “The world needs more matchmakers, not less.”

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Matchmakers Know Superstars Need Love, Too

reported in the NEW YORK TIMES, STYLES SECTION, MAY 2007

AS any casual glance at the tabloids will tell you, the romantic life of an unmarried celebrity can be hell. There’s the tyranny of the paparazzi, always pushing. The scrutiny of the fan base, ever-needy. And sometimes the choices seem stultifyingly narrow: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Kevin Federline, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton. They pair off, break up, then go in search of another boldface name. At times they seem caught in some endless celebrity relationship round-robin.

But it turns out that not all celebrities crave that kind of familiarity. Perhaps in reaction to Hollywood’s love-life-in-a-fishbowl, a small number of movie stars are turning to high-end professional matchmakers to introduce them to civilians with no connection to the entertainment world, then spreading the word among their friends.

Samantha Daniels, a matchmaker based in New York, opened a Los Angeles office to meet her rising celebrity demand. She said none of her celebrity clients want to be paired with another celebrity. “They don’t say it as an absolute,” she said. “But they’d prefer to meet someone, if they’re an actress, who’s not an actor. If they’re hiring me, it’s to expand their possibilities.”
These celebrities rely on Ms. Daniels and a few others — all of whom sign confidentiality agreements — to discreetly introduce them to someone who is attractive, sane, duly impressed yet not star-struck.
And who are their clients? They include major household names: two tabloid regulars, an A-list female star, a movie star of a previous era and a leading actor on an HBO series, according to information independently verified. Representatives for each of the clients denied that they had hired a matchmaker. The matchmakers themselves said their lips were sealed.

Frank W. Smith, a 57-year-old Boston businessman has been dating one of those stars, an Academy Award-winning actress several years older than him, for eight months. At first, he was intrigued about the notion of dating an iconic figure. But “what’s thrilling falls away really quickly,” he said. “What’s interesting is that she’s a great person, interesting.” (He declined to give her name.)
Mr. Smith’s business, developing electrical plants, leaves him low-profile and with long stretches of idle time followed by frantic deal-making. “My life is chaotic, and her life is chaotic,” he said. But, he added: “In my world, I’m the anti-celebrity. I don’t go to a cocktail party and say, ‘I build power plants.’ If I had set out to be a public person, I’d be in a different place.”
Still, he doesn’t mind being ignored on the red carpet, or when strangers approach them in public. “The only thing I worry is, ‘How is she going to deal with that one?’ ” he said. “But celebrities know how to handle it.”
On the other hand, Sandy Frank, a television producer and distributor who declined to give his age but was working for Paramount in the 1950s (he made his fortune syndicating Japanese films and American game shows), is looking for someone other than a celebrity to date. He said he commonly uses the services of Christie Nightingale, a New York-based matchmaker, when he is on the East Coast, and another matchmaker, Kelleher & Associates, on the West Coast.
“Having spent a lot of time in California, the caliber of women you get in the Hollywood community — these are models, actresses — they’re airheads, essentially,” he said. “If you’re in the mode for a serious relationship, you have to go beyond the airhead.”
But it is tough on celebrities, he said, because they never know why others are attracted to them: “Is it the person? Or is it the celebrity? What is there? That’s why a lot of men end up with their secretary.”
And, in both cases, celebrities often want someone who is willing to take a supporting role, and not step into their limelight. Tamara Rawitt, a producer of “In Living Color” and other shows, has watched many of her celebrity couple friends break up: “Two alphas do not equal a functional relationship in any field, and these stars all have the ‘egola’ virus. It’s very hard when you’re in the radar of the egola virus.”

In recent years numerous celebrities have said publicly that they have had enough of entertainment inbreeding, and yearn to escape the nonstop attention inside the Hollywood bubble. After watching his longtime friend Ben Affleck become weekly fodder for the tabloids, Matt Damon swore a few years ago he’d never date an actress again. He is now wed to Luciana Barroso, an Argentine former bartender.
Nicolas Cage, who previously married actress Patricia Arquette and entertainment royalty Lisa Marie Presley, has more recently married Alice Kim, a former waitress. Chris O’Donnell, a tabloid presence when he was single, has a peaceful life below the radar since marrying a schoolteacher, Caroline Fentress, in 1997.
The desire for more privacy, and for some semblance of normalcy, is widespread. Sharon Stone, for one, divorced from the San Francisco newspaper editor Phil Bronstein and living back in Los Angeles, has told close friends that she wants to find a partner outside of entertainment.

The rise of dating reality shows and online dating services like may make the prospect of a fix-up seem less strange, even to a celebrity. Ms. Daniels, fixed up Nick Cannon, the heartthrob star of “Drumline,” for a date that was televised on “Extra.” And in February, relationship guru Dr. Phil McGraw sent Paula Abdul, the sometimes-loopy “American Idol” judge, on a blind date, then analyzed the evening for a Valentine’s Day special.

But why would a celebrity, who draws the constant attention of strangers, need help meeting people? Professional matchmakers say that actors’ crazy-quilt schedules, the fear of “gotcha” videos and — frankly — pride make it more difficult for celebrities to meet suitable partners than the average person. Said Ms. Daniels: “Basically I get a lot of these stories: ‘I was at this party, I saw this woman I was really attracted to. I wanted to say hello, but didn’t think I could because maybe some tabloid would write about me.’ ” The evening goes by, she said, and instead of meeting the person who caught their eye, they are surrounded by giggling fans.

Ms. Daniels’ fee starts from $25,000 for a program to book her services for a year. She got involved in Hollywood during the making of a television show, “Miss Match,” based on her life, in 2003. “All of a sudden publicists, managers and agents started calling me,” she said. “They didn’t want to do it anymore.”
Not all the celebrities function well outside the privileged world to which they’ve become accustomed. Ms. Adler recalled finding a match for an actress who said she wanted “the guy next door — a mellow, smart, humble guy.” But when her date would choose a restaurant, the actress’s manager or assistant would call and say, “ ‘She really wants to go here,’ ” Ms. Adler said. “She said she wants a man who takes charge, and she kept undoing everything he was doing. And at dinner, it was all about the fans, talking to everyone else.” The couple broke up.
And that appears to sum up the track records of the matchmakers interviewed for this article. None have put together a marriage — yet. Ms. Daniels said she has one celebrity client who has been dating a civilian for about 10 months.
Sometimes the civilians find that dating a celebrity isn’t all they dreamed. Ms. Daniels fixed up one of her girlfriends, an interior designer, with a divorced A-list actor, she said, who found that the actor almost never wants to leave his mansion.

Lately, though, Ms. Daniels has found that some of her non-Hollywood clients have been making requests. “I just had a guy ask me about Jennifer Aniston,” she said. “ ‘If she moves to New York do you think you can get me a date with her?’ ” Why not, she figures, adding that she had tracked down celebrities for her clients before. “He’s a talented, successful businessman who I think she might want to go out with.”

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Many Happy Returns

For most people in New York, one look at the jam packed outdoor tables at Da Silvano and Pastis and they know that summer is fast approaching. However for me, the true sign of summer is when I receive my first invitation to a swanky pre-Hamptons soiree. I attended one such event last week at a new venue in the city called Myst. The weather was decent, so the ladies sported their new summer duds- graphic black and white patterned outfits, asymmetrical bold-colored satin cocktail dresses, lucite necklaces and platform espadrilles sandals. The place was primarily populated with single people; catching up with old Hamptons friends, reminiscing about summers past, making new contacts and trying to score invitations to the first bashes of the summer.

As I wandered around, I couldn’t help but overhear much of the chatter about the Hamptons-buzz about whether Nello and Red bar would be trendy again, guesses as to whether Saracen had really been replaced by Philippe, the Mr. Chow spin-off, and gossip about who had gotten married, who had broken up and who had gotten their noses done. At first glance, everyone seemed excited about heading out east once again. But then, upon closer inspection, I noticed that quite a few party revelers who, once upon a time, loved the Hamptons, now seemed almost depressed by the prospect of spending another summer out there.. I heard statements like “I never thought that I would be single again in the Hamptons,” “I vowed that I would never again share a bathroom with 4 people,” “I hate the Hamptons; I can’t believe I have to spend another summer out there.” The anxiety and despair of these people was palpable and it made me sad because I truly love the Hamptons, its one of my favorite places in the world.

So, if you are one of those people who need to rediscover your Hamptons mojo, here’s some advice about how to you can approach this summer a little differently.

1. Expand your social circle. Meeting new types of people can help you find new love possibilities.

2. Check out some non- trendy places for a change. Some of the best places in the Hamptons are places that have been around for many years like the Driver’s Seat and The Lobster Roll.

3. Throw a party. Don’t just wait around to be invited, do the inviting. Host and Hostesses get a lot of attention!

4. Take a Friday or a Monday off and have a long weekend in the Hamptons. You will miss the traffic this way and you will meet a different group of people than those you see on Saturdays and Sundays.

5. Experience the scenic part of the Hamptons- the ponds, the vineyards and the beaches. This will help you remember how beautiful it all is.

6. Bring a friend with you who has never been before and look at it all thru her eyes. By doing this you will remember that only a small group of us truly fortunate people get to vacation in this summer playground.

7. Enjoy the days- tennis, volleyball, waterskiing, biking, and swimming. If you focus only on the nighttime activities, you will surely burn out.

8. Think positively about what you hope to get out of this summer whether it’s new friends, a significant other or an improved golf game and make it happen for yourself.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Funny...How to Say I Love You in 25 places

English--I Love You

Spanish--Te Amo

French--Je T'aime

German--lch Liebe Dich

Japanese--Ai Shite Imasu

Italian--Ti Amo

Chinese--Wo Ai Ni

Swedish--Jag Alskar

Alabama, Arkansas
Kansas, Oklahoma
Texas, North Carolina
South Carolina, Georgia
Tennessee, Idaho
Missouri, Mississippi
Montana, Louisiana
Virginia,West Virginia
parts of Florida

Nice Ass, Get in the truck

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The Break-up or the Blow-off?

You go out on a few dates. You decide, "she's not for you, you are not attracted to him." And then comes the hard part, do you blow her off, just never call her again and leave her wondering why? Or Do you call him and tell him you are blowing him off? And if you do call her to tell her you are blowing her off, do you tell her the truth as to why or do you tell her a little white lie, the old, "its not you, its me" line to spare her feelings. Let me tell you, every dater out there grapples over this very question.

And the truth is there is no right answer, some people want to be blown off face to face or phone to phone because they want to know for sure that it's over. They don't want to be wondering day after day if they might hear from you one more time. But others, well others, they prefer to "take the hint", you don't call, obviously you aren't interested. And a lot of people don't want to be rejected to their face. What I have heard as a matchmaker is that if there were a guarantee that the face to face blow off would incorporate the truth as to why, they would choose to hear it. However, if the blow off is just going to be some lame excuse, they would rather not hear it.

Here are some break up rules....

1. If you are going to do the face to face break up, you need to do it within one week of the last time you saw the person. You can't let four weeks pass and then decide to log in a call out of guilt. Chances are the person has moved on and doesn't want a break up call just to assuage your guilt.

2. Only consider doing the face to face break-up if you are dating someone who can handle it. Don't reject someone face to face who has low self esteem and who might "lose it" from being rejected.

3. Keep in mind that "it's not you, it's me" is the oldest excuse in the book and the person you are breaking up with might not let you off the hook on that excuse.

4. If you break up face to face, be prepared for the person you are breaking up with to ask you the real reason why and if they ask, out of respect you should tell them.

5. If you are a guy breaking up with a woman, don't EVER say that the reason you are breaking up with her has to do with her looks or her body even if this the case. No woman wants to hear this or can handle hearing this. Don't do it!

6. If you are a woman, breaking up with a man, don't EVER say that the reason you are breaking up with him has to do with the size of his "you know what" or his performance in bed, he cannot handle hearing this! Don't do it.

7. If you are vacillating over to break up or to blow off, err on the blow off, its easier for most people to handle.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The little things

Big things, they are easy to remember- when someone's birthday is, their favorite color, that they don't eat dairy. But what of the little things, the things people say in passing that you actually remember or the things you can do for someone else to show you care? Today people always seem to forget the little things even though the little things often times are the most obvious niceties out there. And the little things are the ones that people notice, are the things that make you different, and unique and more appealing when you are dating, more attractive than the masses.

Here are some examples of some sweet little things you can do when you are dating which will get you some major brownie points.

1. When going on a date with someone who has kids, ask him or her the kids names, ask to see photos of the kids and say that the kids are very cute (even if they are not!)

2. If you have a second or third date with that same person, remember to ask how his or her kids are doing and ask about them by name.

3. If you are both having coffee or tea and you are either at home serving it or at a swanky restaurant where they give you individual tea kettles, make sure to pour your dates cup of java first and then pour yours.

4. If the two of you are sharing food, serve your date first, always.

5. As a woman, when you are dating a man, it is nicer to plan an actual full evening where you are going to pay than to try to take the check and pay at the end of a date he planned.

6. If your date had trouble remembering something while you were out together that was important to him or her (like the name of one of his or her favorite movies.), it is nice to follow up afterwards with a cute email saying that you remembered the name. And it is even nicer to show up at the next date with that movie DVD as a gift.

7. If your date mentions that he or she has an important meeting the next day or even a few days later, it is very thoughtful if you remember the meeting and its approximate time of day and pop him or her an email afterwards and ask how the meeting went. It is good if you remember something specific about that meeting so your date felt like you were really interested in what he or she was sharing with you.

8. If your date mentions in passing that he or she would love to try a particular restaurant or that he or she hadn't been back to a certain restaurant in ages, it is very sweet to plan an outing to that place.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

How picky is too picky?

Sometimes I wonder if people remain single because they are just too picky.

All I hear these days is..."I don't like the way he speaks, I don't like that he didn't pick me up, I didn't like that she answered her phone during the dinner."

"I didn't like that he picked a restaurant near his house, I didn't like that he picked a restaurant near my house, I didn't like that he picked the restaurant without asking me, I didn't like that he asked me to pick the restaurant."

"I didn't like his friends, he doesn't have enough friends, he has too many friends" and on and on and on.

For every good thing we find in someone, we tend to find 5 bad things at the same time. And if we keep focusing on the negative, we might just be alone forever.

Here are some tips on how you can be less picky:

-When you go on a date, instead of thinking about what you didn't like about him or her, think about what you did like.

-When you find something you don't like about a person, think about whether that thing is really a deal breaker for you or are you being too picky.

-Think back about how many times you have run into a guy or a girl who you nixed immediately who is now happily married, looks "pretty normal" from a distance and you walked away thinking that maybe you were too impetuous with "that one". If this has happened often, think about not letting it happen again.

-Legitimate deal breakers are things like differences in values, religious differences, lack of sexual chemistry and drinking and drug issues.

-"Legimitate pickiness" is cutting him off because he is a half inch shorter than the height you tend to date or because she has C cups instead of D cups!

-If you are unsure whether or not you are being too picky, "phone a friend", an honest and direct one and ask his or her opinion.

-Keep in mind that no one is ever going to be perfect. Not even you!

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Dating joke- pretty funny

Choosing a wife
>A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among
>three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and
>watches to see what they do with the money.
>The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon
>hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
>nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
>attractive for him because she loves him so much.
>The man was impressed.
>The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set
>of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
>clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
>all the money on him because she loves him so much.
>Again, the man is impressed.
>The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several
>times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the
>remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
>their future because she loves him so much.
>Obviously, the man was impressed.
>The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
>money he'd given her.
>Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
>Men are like that, you know.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Valentine's Day aftermath...

Valentine's Day- the holiday for lovers. Girls look forward to it, hoping they will have a date, wishing that their beau will step up this year and discover the real definition of romance.

Men dread it- they know that chances are, whatever they do, whatever they buy, isn't going to be right, good enough, or what their lady is fantasizing about. And then the day after, relief coupled with thoughts of breakups or thoughts of love.

I am in Aspen skiing right now and I rode the gondola up the mountain with a couple who was arguing about Valentine's Day. They didn't celebrate it because the guy was stuck and work, they were arguing about it. He was promising to "do better" next year and she was threatening that she had his credit card number and would buy herself her own present.

I, being the budinsky that I am, chimed in (after all the ride up the mountain is a good 20 minutes) and pointed out that they could just celebrate valentine's Day on another day- maybe next week or March, in April or maybe even in July. I pointed out that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be just about a specific date n the calendar, it can just be about the symbolism of remembering those around you, find a time, an excuse to be romantic. They kind of looked at me funny- maybe because they didn't want me interfering in their fight and then because it seemed like they gave what I was saying some thought. I pushed on. I looked at him pointedly and said that perhaps he could try to come up with a spontaneous unexpected romantic gesture he could do for his woman on a day that she wasn't expecting it and on a day that he had time to focus. He shrugged and seemed to think that this could be a reasonable idea. And then I smiled understandingly at her and said that guys sometimes like to do this on their own time, in their own way, not just when "they are supposed to." She seemed to buy that explanation as well.

The moral of the story... Romance can happen anytime, in anyway. Its about being thoughtful, small gestures and taking the time to think about your significant other and what you could do with them or for them that would show them that you really care, show them that you took time out of your busy schedule to focus on them.

Its not about how much money you spend or how elaborate the gesture is, its about the gift or gesture itself and how in tune it is with what will make your partner happy.

Think 1 Hershey kiss on someone's pillow when they get out of the shower on a random morning. Purple tulips instead of red roses or cooking a dinner with all of his or her favorite foods on the menu with their favorite music playing in the background.

This is romance.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Is she an astronut or an astronaut?

Of course I needed to blog about this crazy in love astronaut. Have you been following the news about her? This woman is looney tunes, right? Or is she just really in love? Love makes us do crazy things, uncontrollable things. But does love make most of us don a diaper and drive 9 hours to pepper spray "our competition"? Probably not. But, have most of us, myself included gone a little nutty at least one time in our lives all in the name of love? Absolutely.

So why does love make us act this way? And when we step over the line like the Astronut, I mean astronaut did, is it no longer love, it is now obsession?
Scientists will actually tell you that obsessive love behavior might not be our faults. There is a chemical in our bodies called dopamine and some people call it is the "love" chemical. When you feel that surge of love or attraction to someone, dopamine gets released through your body then you feel that giddiness, a high if you will. Dopamine can and does contribute to that an irrational
feeling of attraction that can and does overcome the lives of some people. Seems like our astaunut got an extra gigantic surge of dopamine!

What makes people fall "head over heels" in love?
For many people it's chemistry, that indescribable feeling of connection, the intangible that draws two people together in a cosmic, not able to fight it way. In my matchmaking business, I put people together paying attention to commonalities- if they have the same hobbies, if they will find the same things funny, if they will find the same things annoying, if they have similar values. And then I also pay close attention to what they say they are physically attracted to. But the one thing I cannot account for, ever, is chemistry; chemistry is unpredictable and sometimes it happens between the most unlikely of people.

So... Do we condemn our Astronut? The woman's in love, serious, obsessive love. We have all felt it, but have we acted on it?
Have we become stalkers?
Sometimes even the most normal of people go a little crazy in the name of love. However, just a word for the wise... if your stalking involves not using a toilet or wearing a Halloween costume in any other month but October, you probably have taken it a bit too far.....

Monday, January 22, 2007

Barry Manilow- Do you have someone who will go with you to his concert?

I went to see Barry Manilow on Thursday at Madison Square Garden. I know you might think that I am a dork but I love the guy's music. Remember... he "writes the songs that make the young girls cry"... And let me tell you... his lyrics, well I cried several times during the concert.

Being at the concert and doing something I really wanted to do regardless of what people might think or regardless of who wanted to join me made me think about dating and how so many people come to me with agenda's and "must haves." It made me that about how very rarely these days is having fun and laughing on that must have list. For the guys, its always about how "hot" the girl is, how old she is, that she isn't "thick"- (what a terrible expression!) and for the women its about what job he has, how ambitious he is, where he lives and where he vacations. But seeing Barry made me think that what it is really all about is connecting over the little things. I saw so many couples at the concert really having fun together, singing all the words to all of Barry's songs; guys, macho looking ones, wiping tears away when Barry told a very nostalgic story about his grandfather, couples holding hands and kissing because the music is so romantic.
So.. Some advice... Find the person with whom you can go to your version of a Barry Manilow concert, someone who is going to be willing to share those dorky things that you like to do with you, someone who is willing to learn to like what you like without giving you a hard time about it. And you need to want to do the same for them.
And if Barry is actually your secret passion... don't be embarrassed. And keep in mind that a great way of getting your guy to like him is to let him know how great Barry's music is for "setting the mood". You might be surprised about how quickly he will join you at the next concert!

Sunday, January 7, 2007


I'm back from vaca in Aspen- no snow but it was warm and sunny everyday, so from my perspective the skiing was amazing! Happy New Year!

So January is an interesting month for matchmaking....January is probably one of the two hottest matchmaking months. It’s freezing in New York (usually), nobody wants to go out, there are very few social events taking place, many people have broken up over Christmas and New Years and many people are very depressed that they are starting a new year alone again. My phone rings off the hook this month.

If you are alone... don't despair- so are alot of other people. And the bonus is that people like to cuddle when its cold so they are on the look-out for their cuddle partner. Additionally, even though most people think the whole "New Year's resolution" thing is foolish, most people do, in fact, make some New Years resolutions. And often times, those resolutions have to do with having better relationships, having some kind of relationship, not being alone, and having someone with whom to share the good and bad. So, at least for the next month or so, you should be able to hit a few people who are trying to live up to their resolutions and get into a relationship. No, they don't wear a shirt or sign that says they are "trying" but I think most people are trying to be good and better right after the first of the year. Grumpiness and negative energy doesn't seem to set in again until Valentine's Day!!

Some advice...
Valentine's Day is 5 weeks away and counting.. It sucks to be alone then so...

1. spend some time this month trying to socialize more and differently than you usually do.

2.Reach out to some old friends, make plans to go out with then and while you are reconnecting, ask them if they know anyone to introduce you to-- since you haven't been in touch for awhile they may just know someone you don't know.

3.Don't be bashful to ask- if you don't ask, you don't get.

4.Revisit some guys or gals you rejected in the past- people change as they get older and people look really good when its really cold outside!

5.Just do it, try online dating, its not so bad, I've tried it, it's just another way to meet some people.