Sunday, December 14, 2008

Does he like you?

He likes you... He calls you at 12 noon, the day of your date to confirm and tell you the plans.
He doesn't... He texts you at 6:15 about your 7:30 date, at the exact time that you thought for the 200th time that you wished you were strong enough to tell him that he is a piece of crap and that you aren't going out with him tonight or any night.

He likes you... he emails you 3 restaurant choices for your date.
He doesn't... he tells you to pick the place.

He likes you... he suggests a restaurant close to your apartment to make it easy for you.
He doesn't... he suggests a place one block from him apartment- super convenient for him and within his hook-up territory.

He likes you... he offers to come pick you up at your apartment and escort you to the date.
He doesn't... he emails you the name of the restaurant and tells you that he will see you there.

He likes you...he picks up that flip thing that we call a phone and he actually calls you to ask you on a date.
He doesn't...he perma-texts you from the time you meet until the time he goes on a date with you, never once picking up the phone and usually in one word grunts.

He likes you..he rearranges his schedule to fit you in and to see you, no matter what.
He doesn't, he says he's really busy and will catch up with you after the holidays.

He likes you...he remembers the important things you have told him (not everything because he is a guy, but the important things.)
He doesn't...he doesn't allocate brain space to remember that you are allergic to red wine and that you don't eat sushi.

He likes you... he is attracted to you no matter what you are wearing.
He doesn't... you could be standed stark naked in front of him, we wouldn't get an erection.

He likes you, he stops running from party to party looking for new girls.
He doesn't, he keeps on running...!!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

When he doesn't like you back...

Unfortunately in dating, the old expression, "it takes two to tango" is very true. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter how much you like him, how happy he seems when he's with you, how great you think you would be for him, or how great looking your kids would be, if he isn't into you, it doesn't matter how into him you are, the game is just over!

I know, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Why would he, your perfect guy, be dating her, a girl who is such a moron that she doesn't even know whether Madison Avenue is on the east side or the west side, instead of dating you? Why would he choose to be with a girl who is so anorexic that she just pushes the food around on her plate when you know that he loves to share food when he is out at a great restaurant? And why would he choose to be with someone who has stock in Ritalin and has drama as her middle name rather than you who is virtually drug free?

He says he is looking for his wife and the mother of his children so why is he dating a child and a basket-case instead? Why did he bother getting a double ivy degree if he is just going to pass down high school equivalency genes to his kids? And why did he spend so much time hobnobbing with the elite, if he was just going to end up marrying the penniless foreigner who came to the US to find her gold?

I know, I know, what the hell is this all about???

It's shocking, disappointing and crazy all at once. But we can't help who we love and we can't make people love us.

So... the best thing you can do is accept reality- he isn't into you. Men are predators, hunters and they go after what and who they want. Even the most spineless and effeminate ones, they still figure out a way to get what they want. If he isn't going after you, if he isn't scheduling plans with you, he isn't into you. Period. Don't buy his excuses anymore. Don't be his pen pal. Don't settle for late night drunken phone calls or one word answers to your texts. Accept facts.

And do yourself a favor... go find the guy who actually digs you. Remember back to when you were into a guy who actually was into you as well. Remember that??? It might have been awhile ago, but I know you have been there before. Remember those times when you couldn't believe how strongly he came on, the times you giggled a lot because he was so "after you", the times he seemed like he was in heat? That was a guy who really liked you.
It time to pay attention to him or to go find him; he's out there and he's sick of the drama, the gold diggers and the nursery school conversation.

He's really out there and will be delighted to meet you...