Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Here's what I know... What men like on a first date.

Do you ever wonder what you should and shouldn't do on a first date?

Here's what I know...

(1) Men like happy, smiling women. If you can't smile, don't go.

(2) Men like you to ask questions about them but nothing too probing, just light and fun.

(3) Men like girls who laugh at their jokes, so even if your guy isn't really funny, throw in a giggle every now and again.

(4) Guys like girls to flirt with their eyes. Try giving him a long stare eye to eye, it will captivate him.

(5) Guys don't like a girl who have 11 changes to her food order. It's okay to order dressing on the side, but other than that, suck it up. If you don't, he might give you a draconian kick to the curb!

(6) Guys like girls who say thank you after they pay the bill or as they are walking out of the restaurant; they want to feel appreciated.

Don't forget to check out the movie, How to Lose a Guy in 1o Days where Kate Hudson makes a lot of dating blunders!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Here's what I know... What men notice on a date.

Do you ever wonder what a guy notices on a date and what just goes over his head?

Here's what I know...

(1) He notices if you are nice to the waiter and he will like it if you are.

(2) He notices if you check your blackberry a half dozen times and/or takes unimportant calls during your time with him.

(3) He notices your energy- if you seem happy and if you have good, confident posture.

(4) He notices if you talk about yourself non-stop and never come up for air to ask about him.

(5) He notices if you are defensive about things in your life. If you feel particularly vulnerable or badly about the fact you lost your job, need to lose 15 pounds or have never been married, you need to come up with comfortable answers to those questions.

(6) He notices if you are fidgetting with your hair, looking around the room or picking your nails: these are all signs that you aren't really interested in him.

Don't forget to check out Yes, Man a funny dating movie!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Here's what I know...You need to have some basics if you are having a girl over to your home.

Do you ever wonder what are the girl staples you should have at your house if you are planning to have a girl over?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to have something there that a woman would drink, i.e., wine or vodka, not just moonshine and Tequila!

(2) You need to have at least one morsel of food to offer. (Keep a box of crackers in your cabinet or a bag of pretzels, something you can offer her.

(3) You need to have real cutlery and real dishes. If you are out of college, eating only with paper and plastic just doesn't cut it!

(4) You need to have kneenex and napkins. A lady does not like to blow her nose with toilet paper, nor does she like to use papertowels as napkins.

(5) Women like mood music, so even if you don't, you should have some if you are trying to get her in the mood.

(6) Women like candles. Candles are easy to buy, they sell them everywhere, so its very easy for you to have a few on hand in your home. You don't want to go overboard with the stinky ones but the ones that are pretty and make her feel romantic are perfect!

Remember that Friends episode when Ross cooked for Rachel the first time??

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Here's what I know... Men again.... bad topics for a date.

As a man, do you feel that you constantly say and do things on dates that you think are okay, only to realize later on that what you said or did was an absolute "no no"?

Here's what I know...

(1) Bad topic- your ex and how much you hate her. You don't want the new woman to worry that you will bad mouth her in the same way sometime in the future.

(2) Bad topic- your mother and how much you hate her. Women use how a man treats his mom as a barometer for how he will treat her.

(3) Bad date topic- your obsession with any sports team in particular. Women know men love sports and they are okay with that, but they tend to shy away from the obsessed type.

(4) Bad topic-how much money you lost in the stock market. Women want security. This does not mean they are gold diggers, they just want to believe that if they end up with you that they will have a roof over their head.

(5) Bad date topic- how anti-social you are. It's okay if you are not a social butterfly, but no girl wants to date someone with social issues.

(6) Bad date topic- how much money you have. Women like guys who are successful, but they hate braggarts.

Check out Rusty on the ABC Family drama, Greek. He could use some of this advice!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Here's what I know... The kiss is key.

Do you ever wonder just how important the kiss is when you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) If you have an excellent kiss together, chances are, sex will be really good as well.

(2) Kissing is the best foreplay especially if you both are very into it.

(3) Girls like to kiss more than guys do, so if he wants to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you, be confident that he is very attracted to you.

(4) Some people kiss well immediately and some people have to perfect their kiss. It's like dancing, you have to find your rhythm with each person.

(5) If you are kissing a slobber king, and you feel like you need a shower on your face after every kiss, in a nice way, show him how nice it is not to lick faces, show him other things that are just as good. Be patient with him especially if you like him.

((6) If you think that you and your guy kiss okay, but not great, or if you want your kiss to get even hotter than it already is, try kissing in a private, yet not so private place. The danger element will surely heat things up.

If you haven't seen Hitch with Will Smith, you should go rent it now! Hysterical!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Here's what I know... You need to be able to go with the flow when you are dating.

Do you ever wonder if a guy stopped seeing you because you just couldn't go with the flow?

Here's what I know...

(1) When you are dating, you need to be flexible about things.

(2) Plans change, and things come up, so you need to be able to figure out how to go with the flow without having a girl-fit.

(3) If you punish your guy for screwing up the perfect plan, you might wantt ask yourself who you are really punishing.

(4) Next time you are about to have a hissy-fit because things aren't going your way, think about an alternative plan that might work for both of you.

(5) If you indicate to your guy that you can't be flexible, ultimately he won't want to be with you because life is complicated enough without your being difficult.

(6) It might be a growing experience for you to try to just let things happen, whether or not they are part of your grand scheme plan. You might be surprised at how things turn out!

Elaine from Seinfeld had a "go with the flow" issue!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Here's what I know... When he will want to see you again...

Do you ever wonder what will make a guy want to see you again?

Here's what I know...

(1) If he goes home with a smile on his face about his evening with you, he will want to see you again.

(2) If you left him wanting more in the sexual category, he will want to see you again.

(3) If you were an excellent kisser, he will want to see you again.

(4) If you are a tiny bit mysterious and unattainable, he will want to see you again.

(5) If you have interesting things going on that he is fascinated by, he will want to see you again.

(6) If the date was fun and easy, he will want to see you again.

Remember Michael Douglas in The American President? He was skipping down the street because he felt so good about his date with Annette Benning

Friday, April 17, 2009

Here's what I know.. If you have a crush on one of your friends, go for it!

Do you have a friend that you have a little thing for, but you are nervous about crossing the line?

Here's what I know...

(1) Most women don't let their husbands be BFFs with another girl , so if you are afraid to cross the line because the two of you are soooo close, get over it, you won't be that close forever.

(2) You might be surprised that your friend has those same feelings for you.

(3) The best relationships start as friendships, so if you are that lucky to have a friend in your life that you are romantically attracted to, go for it!

(4) If you go for it, make sure you do it over a bottle of wine, it will be easier and it will give you a built-in excuse, if its a disaster!

(5) If you go for it, keep the talking about it to a minimum; talking with just scare you both off

(6) If you do talk about it, keep it relaxed and make sure you that you are reassuring to your friend that you can handle it, whatever the outcome, so that your friend will not resist out of fear of losing a friend.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Here's what I know... Bad topics for a man to bring up on a date.

Did you ever wonder as a man what topics are off limits on a first date?

Here's what I know...

(1) Bad date topic- the specifics of what you do on your "guy's nights out". This is better left to their imagination and better left between you and your buddies.

(2) Bad date topic- how much weight your ex gained. You don't want your date to think you are a shallow jerk who will leave her when she gets pregnant, even if you are that shallow jerk.

(3) Bad date topic- how hot and sexy your ex was. You don't want your date, who might be very confident about her looks to start to second guessing her looks because thinks you are still obsessed with your ex.
(4) Bad date topic-How you think that you are going to get fired. Girls need to believe that if they end up with you, there will be a roof over her head and food on the table for the kiddies.

(5) Bad topic- how much kinky sex you are into. Most women will go with the flow in the sex category, once they are into you, however you don't want to scare them off on the first date.

(6) Bad date topic- any weird cheapnesses you have. She doesn't need to hear that you don't keep the heat on in 10 degree weather or that you go to your mom's to watch Entourage so you don't have to pay for HBO; she will find this out soon enough, no need to burst her bubble right away.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Here's what I know... Women love confident men!

Have you ever wondered how confident is too confident when you are dating?

Here's what I know...

(1) Women love confident men!

(2) Women love take charge men.

(3) Women love men who make them feel like women!

(4) Women understand that you can't do the planning ALL the time, nor do they want you to do it all. However, women love the feel of a decision-making man. (Even if you are bad at decisions or a poor restaurant picker, in the beginning, a woman would rather you plan something than show up with no ideas and throw it to her!)

(5) Being confident is not about being bossy or being cocky or arrogant; none of those traits are appealing to women. Women are simply looking for a confident personality type and this comes from "your presence", your disposition and your attitude.

(6) April is the month of confident men, those Aries! So, girls if you love confident guys, find a guy who was born this month!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Here's what I know...Sometimes you just won't know what someone's actions mean.

Do you ever just feel stumped when it comes to deciphering a person's behaviour in the dating world?

Here's what I know...

(1) There are two sides to every story.

(2) No one is mind reader, so regardless of how many interations you come up with or how many ways you look at a situation, sometimes you just won't know the real truth.

(3) It's a waste of time to obsess over every little thing someone does and try to figure out what each thing in a vacuum means.

(4) Sometimes even the person who is doing the action doesn't actually know why they are doing it; sometimes they just act first, think later.

(5) Sometimes there is, in fact, an underlying message in how someone acts and sometimes there's not, you just won't be sure, unless the person says it to you directly. Sometimes it's better just to wait and see.

(6) Your mental psyche will take healthier if you have lower expectations about a certain situation. This way you might be pleasantly surprised, instead of disappointed.

And for some comic relief, check out one of my all time favorite "mindless entertainment" movies, Clueless with Alicia Silverstone.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Here's what I know... everyone has a "foot in the mouth" moment on a date.

Have you ever been on a date and something comes out of your mouth and you literally can't believe you said it?

Here's what I know...

(1) Everyone puts their foot in their mouth, a lot, when they are dating.

(2) You can always cover over a stupid comment with a giggle or a just kidding (the way you use LOL every two seconds in email) and hope for the best. If you have a killer smile or if you are a good flirter, the person sitting across the table will probably forgive your stupidity.

(3) Even if the first words out of your mouth as you greeted your blind date were " Hi, wow, you look tired", instead of what you meant to say that she looked great, you can still figure out a way to recover if you just are sweet at other parts of the night.

(4) Even if you told an ex girl friend that you are glad you dated her because it gives you "street cred" with other people, this still does not mean you are a hopeless dater, just a little insensitive at times.

(5) Even if you spent an hour talking about your ex when you swore you wouldn't even bring him up, you can recover, especially if the person sitting across the table likes you.

(6) People who are looking to meet someone great, tend NOT to judge someone on 1 lone stupid comment, they tend to take things "under advisement" and wait and see.

(7) Instead of harping on the stupid or bad thing you said, and instead of bringing it up again and again (because that only makes the person remember it all the more), more forward in the conversation confidently and let the person see the real and thoughtful you instead.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Here's what I know... These are the "right" ingredients for a long-lasting relationship.

Do you ever wonder what things are necessary things for a relationship to work?

Here's what I know...

(1) The ability to resolve conflict is key. You need to be able to discuss a circumstance with a person and work through it quickly, openly and move forward.

(2) You need to laugh at the same jokes and find the same things funny.

(3) The kiss is key. If your kiss is good, if you fell into a good kiss right away or were able to refine the kiss immediately and you can kiss for hours and send little tingles down the other person's spine with your kiss, then you are golden. Good kissing foreshadows good sex.

(4) Time needs to go by effortlessly, quickly and without noticing whenever you speak or see each other.

(5) You need to speak a silent language- this comes from having a similar sense of humor.

(6) You need to both be able to be self deprecating- give it as well as you can take it and be good-natured in that area.

(7) You need to trust each other and feel comfortable that the other one has your back and will always have your back.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Here's what I know... If you are in a bad mood, stay home.

Did you ever notice that when you go out on the town and you are in a bad mood, your night is a bust?
Here's what I know...

(1) People gravitate towards happy people, not miserable sourpusses so if you can't get rid of the sourpuss, stay home.

(2) No one wants to hear your tales of woe; everyone has their own Bernie Madoff story, no one wants to get depressed by yours.

(3) Men know that women get their period once a month, but they certainly don't want to hear about the fact that you have it now and it's put you in a bad mood. This is poor judgment on your part and just icky.

(4) If you are in a bad mood when you are out, no one will want to be around you because they can feel it. Trust me, they can.

(5) A bad mood rises to your eyes. If your eyes can't, then the smile on your face doesn't matter.

(6) It's okay to have a night of downtime; it might re-energize you for next time!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Here's what I know... If he stopped calling you over something little, then he wasn't yours anyway.

How many times have you obsessed over the littlest thing that you did in your relationship, thinking that your one small action was the reason for it's demise?

Here's what I know...

(1) Guys don't break up with girls over little things.

(2) Once a guy decides he is attracted to you, he won't break up with you over something that only you notice- that one pimple you got on a Tuesday or the fact that you wore a bra that didn't make your boobs look as big as they usually do.

(3) Guys don't pay attention to how many "xo's" you put at the end of your text message and he certainly won't break up with you over that.

(4) Guys read emails very quickly and they don't labor over every word you wrote and what you meant by them, the way girls do. Absent your writing something really awful, he is not going to break-up with you because of your LOL or because you had too many typos.

(5) It is natural to question the last little thing you did with a guy if he ends things with you and you are not sure why. However, to find out what really went wrong, you need to dig deeper and look at the full picture and the patterns of behaviour.

(6) When you are dating someone, it's more important to learn the things that would bother HIM, not obsess about the things that would bother you that don't even register on his "notice" meter. (Example: he won't notice if the smiley face in your text was a full smile or a wink, but he will notice if you need to have a "relationship conversation" by email during work hours, when he is in his office!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Here's what I know... You should be able to "agree to disagree" if you want to be together.

Have you ever gotten into a situation with the person you are dating where you just cannot come to terms?

Here's what I know...

(1)Sometimes two people have opposing viewpoints on a subject and just cannot agree.

(2) If you care about someone, you should give them the space to have his or her own opinion and for you to have yours.

(3) Sometimes a disagreement can be healthy for a relationship as long as you can move by it.

(4) Two people will never agree on everything and this can add dimensionality to your relationship.

(5) If you have a disagreement and you cannot come to terms, you need to think about whether you can respect the other person's point of view although you don't agree w it.

(6) Perhaps you can learn something from your partner's differing viewpoint. Take a step back and try to understand how they are looking at things.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Here's what I know... You need to be with someone who loves "the real you."

Have you ever wondered why you would put yourself in a circumstance where you are apologizing for just being you?

Here's what I know...

(1) You are pretty damn great. You need to find that person who understands that.

(2) You need to be with someone who loves all that you are and all that you are not. Marlene told me that and it's very important.

(3) If someone is questioning who you are, have you ever stopped and asked, who are they?

(4) If you are asking why you are compromising yourself, then you are in the wrong situation.

(5) If you constantly need to hide the real you, then you aren't in the right situation.

(6) If you know deep down that you are trying to fit a square peg in to a round hole, take a step back and don't do it. Do you real want to take all this time to pick someone, only to then get divorced?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Here's what I know... The "trolling the party" guy is not ready for a real relationship.

Did you ever wonder why a guy who says he wants to be in a relationship spends more time trolling parties than trying to work on having a relationship?

Here's what I know...

(1) You need to take time to be in a relationship and make it work.

(2) If you want to be in a relationship, you will be willing to give up a trolling night to be with a girl you like.

(3) If a guy is not willing to give up the trolling night, chances are, he is not into you enough to forego it.

(4) A guy might say that he trolls parties because he really wants to meet someone but there is a difference between hitting the occasional party and going to the opening of an envelope!

(5) Some guys troll for sport and because it's a game to them and others troll because they think it is a necessity. Either way, do you really want to be with that guy?

(6) You have been in situations before where when a guy is crazy about you, he drops everything and can't get enough of you. If the trolling guy can't do this, it's time for another guy.