Samantha Says: Stop Wasting Time When Dating

When you are looking  for someone with whom to to build a life, you need to be realistic as to which relationships have a higher probability of going somewhere, and which do not. 

You don’t want to waste three years dating a guy who isn’t ready to settle down, because at the end of those three years, you will be no closer to your goal of getting married and you will feel like you wasted a lot of time. 

Samantha’s Dating Thought: Avoid The Winter Blues

Has the chilly January weather gotten you and your beau down and feeling unromantic? Here are some ideas to help keep you toasty, spirited, and in love until spring arrives: 

• Add a kick to your hot chocolate (I love peppermint schnapps or hazelnut-flavored Kahlua), cuddle up with your sweetie under a blanket, and watch a steamy movie. 
• Sink into a jacuzzi, relax in a sauna, and then get a couples massage at one of NYC’s many bath houses/spas. I’ve been dying to go to one since I read this article at Racked.com last week: “Get Steamy at These Eight Saunas, Spas, and Baths.” 
• The best way to escape the cold is to just get away. Plan a mini-vacation (or a longer one if you can afford it) to somewhere warm, like the Viceroy in Miami, the Banyan Tree in Mexico, or Jade Mountain in the Caribbean. Let the sun and sand breathe new life into your relationship.

Escape to somewhere warm this winter

Samantha's Web Pick: Fab.com

If you're a design enthusiast like me, you absolutely need to check out Fab.com. From their office in the West Village in New York, their team curates a fantastic array of objects at all price points that will appeal to anyone who enjoys good design. You can find anything from a $5 necklace to a $5,000 chair. Also, everything is sold at a discount, at up to 70% off retail prices. It's a great place to find unique gifts and fun accents to add to your home. And, if you're looking for a Valentine's Day gift, there are some great finds in their Naughty and Nice shops.

Celebrity Couplings And Breakups: 2012 In Review

Katie and Suri in New York

(Originally appeared In The Huffington Post, January 16, 2013.)

Now that 2012 is over, it's always interesting to look back and see what our favorite Hollywood couples have been doing in the romance department and make some predictions of what will happen in the year to come.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise: They landed in Splitsville in June. It seems to be for the best for Katie as she has really taken to her new life in New York. I predict that her next guy is going to be a cool business guy and not a celebrity, but time will tell.

Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy: They were going strong and everyone was wondering if Taylor was going to be socialite royalty as well as music royalty. Then they parted ways in October. Judging from the fact that she quickly canoodled with One Direction's Harry Styles and how beautiful and happy she looked at both the New Year's Eve ball drop and the Golden Globes, she doesn't seem worse for the wear. I think going into 2013, Taylor would be better served choosing a guy her own age or older if she is looking for a real and more appropriate relationship.

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth: Miley got engaged to Liam in June who is three years her senior. She seems happy, but I wish she could have waited a little longer to get engaged even though they have been together for awhile. She is very young and her taste in men could change dramatically as she continues to mature. My advice would be to let some more time pass before they walk down the aisle.

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds: These two Hollywood heartthrobs tied the knot quietly in October. I love these two together and I am sorry to say it, but

Is Courtship Dead?

The cover story for this weekend’s New York Times Style Section asked readers if traditional dating rituals have all but died  amongst today’s younger generations. Is dinner and a movie, where the man picks up the bill, a relic of the past? 

Has texting made dating more casual?

Amongst today’s twenty-somethings, casual hookups and group hangouts have replaced the old traditions of dating. This change is the product of several cultural transformations, including the advent of the email and text (which are less formal and require less courage than a phone call), the rise of online dating services (which mean singles have more dating options than ever before), and changing economic dynamics between guys and gals (many women are earning more than their male counterparts). 

If this phenomenon concerns you, here's three tips:

1. Make it clear to your suitor that you won’t accept anything less than a proper date.

2. If you must  go out on a group date, try to steal your guy away from the crowd for some personal one-on-one time.

3. Suggest a less expensive date, like a movie and an ice cream instead of a full-blown dinner.  

New Year's Resolutions To Help Your Relationship

It's a New Year! Now, it's time to think about if your relationship progressed as you wanted it to in 2012. Are you where you want to be with your partner? Or, did 2012 fall short of your relationship expectations? It is all too easy to fall into a relationship rut. Work, family, and life in general can wear you down and leave you with little energy to devote to your partner. No matter where you are, I have three suggestions for resolutions that will help you ensure that your relationship stays on track in 2013.

Happy New Year!

1. Try something new every week. Introducing a new activity into your weekly routine will ensure that you continue learning more about your partner. It will also be fun to find new ways to enjoy each other's company. And here's a hint: it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Prepare a new recipe for dinner together, or see a concert at a venue or in a genre you typically wouldn't attend. If you're short on ideas, local newspapers are filled with the goings-on about town. Websites like LivingSocial.com and also very helpful.

2. Choose a new skill to learn together. Having something to work toward together will bring you closer than ever before, and will help keep the passion alive. Is there a language you have always wanted to learn? Motivate each other to stay on track, and perhaps even plan a trip to a country that speaks it to reward yourselves for your hard work. If you are daredevils, try something adventurous like hang gliding or flying a plane. If you are athletic (or want to be), train together to run a race. It can be anything from a 5K to a marathon. If you have a competitive streak, enter in a tango competition a few months away and start working on your moves.

3. Create a fulfilling life outside of your relationship. Trust me, this is very important to having a happy and healthy relationship. You must ensure that your personal growth continues outside of what is going on with your partner. The happier you are with your life, the more you can bring to the table with your relationship. This means pursuing your hobbies, following up on your work goals, and having a strong and supportive network of friends.