Should You Get Married Or Is Monogamy Enough For You?

(Originally appeared in the Huffington Post on March 18, 2013.)

You have been with your beau for awhile now. You are exclusive, boyfriend and girlfriend, you are known as a couple in your social circle and you might even live together. And all seems copasetic. However, society favors marriage over just being a couple which is why living together without marriage has the old nickname of "living in sin". So how do you know if you are meant to be a happily unwed person forever or if it's time for you to head to the altar? Here are some things to consider when trying to make that decision....

1. Do you personally believe in matrimony? Deep down before you became all modern, did you believe in matrimony and like the idea of marriage? If so, maybe it's time to get back to your roots and take the plunge.

2. Will matrimony make you feel safer and more secure in your relationship? After all, marriage is more permanent than just being in a relationship. As easy as it is to get a divorce these days, it still requires some effort to get one. You can't just curse each other out and never speak again like you can if you are in a relationship without the legalities.

3. Is there a reason why you are "living in sin" at the moment? Is it because that was the next step in your relationship trajectory and marriage is next and you have just been lazy, or is it because this is what you and your partner decided was right for both of you? When you ask this question, make sure that the answer is coming from yourself , not your partner.

4. Have you refrained from taking the plunge into matrimony because you are acommitmentphobe and marriage seems so much more permanent than cohabitation? Be honest with yourself about this and if you are just scared sh**less about taking that next step, talk to your partner or to a professional about your fears and maybe you can work through them.

5. Have you hesitated about walking down the aisle out of lack of desire to plan a wedding?

10 Types of Men Who Won't Marry You

(Originally appeared in the Huffington Post on March 18, 2013.)

Have you ever wondered if there are guys out there that simply will not marry you? Are there certain men from whom you should just stay away because chances are, the relationship is going to be an exercise in frustration for you? You are not alone -- many women think about this all the time. And yes, there are certain types of men that you should just plain avoid because if you were playing the odds, the odds say these guys are just not going to seal the deal with you.

Here are 10 types of men that I, as a professional matchmaker, would recommend you steer clear of:

Mr. "Still Hung Up On His Ex": We have all been out with this guy. He says he is over his ex, yet at every turn, he talks about her and compares you to her. Please. He is not over her and until he is over her, he is not marrying you.

Mr. "I Am Not Ready For A Serious Relationship Right Now": This is the guy who dates a lot and then when he gets too close or decides he isn't interested in you, he uses the excuse that he's not ready. The question about this guy is this: Is he really not ready, or is that just a convenient excuse to dump you and avoid the commitment?

Mr. "Bigger Better Deal": You know this guy. He is the one who likes you a lot but is always wondering if there is a better version of you out there, somewhere in the universe. Honestly, do you need to be with the guy who is never going to think that you are good enough to marry?

Mr. "I Hang Out With Guys 15 Years My Junior": This is the guy who is 47 and a CEO of a company or a big-time executive and all of his contemporaries are married, so his BFFs are 25-year-olds and clubbing it. He is out until 3:00 a.m. several nights a week, looking to pick up and then he kids himself into thinking that when a 25-year-old girl says yes to a date with him, it's because he is such a good guy, not because she is dreaming of flying private.

Mr. "Still Trying To Figure Out His Career": If he is 40-plus and having a midlife work crisis, believe me, he is not going to marry you. Men need to be settled in their careers or at least know which direction they are headed on the career front before they can settle down.

Mr. "50-Something And Never Been Married": This guy is lurking everywhere. He is 50-plus and

Samantha’s Dating Thought: How Do Finances Change When You Move In Together?

A lot of people wonder whether their finances will get better or worse if and when they move in with their significant other. Here are a few things to consider:

• You will be sharing the costs of all the utilities in the home, so this will mean more money in your pocket each month. However, the two of you need to discuss how these expenses are going to get paid and who is taking care of them.
• You will discover very quickly that your spending habits aren't exactly similar even though the two of you tend to live similarly. For example, you might want to have a DVR in every room in your house whereas your partner thinks one for the whole house is sufficient. Or, he might want the heat or AC to be on all day, even when no one is home, whereas you always were in the habit to turning it off when you leave for work. This is okay as long as you discuss this and determine how the two of you are going to deal with the small differences that you discover.
• You will need to decide who is going to be the one who pays the bills, as in, who is going to write the checks, push send on the online banking site, etc. It is usually better for just one of you to take care of this task, so that nothing falls through the cracks.
• It is always a good idea to put together a budget. It doesn't have to be fancy or super detailed, but, by doing this, at least the two of you can see what's what, what you have, what you want to put away to save for the future and what kind of lifestyle is the right lifestyle for the two of you to be living without ending up in debt.
• Regardless of how you are going to divy up the expenses, it is always a good idea to get a joint bank account that is ear-marked for household expenses. In this way, you don't have to have a discussion, every time you need more toilet paper, need to pay the housekeeper or need to do a grocery run. Make sure that you set parameters on how you use the joint account so there are no surprises.

What other changes did you notice in your finances when you moved in with your love?

Samantha Answers: What Is The Problem With Dating?

In New York City, there are too many choices of people to date and this makes it hard to focus on one person. Sometimes, girls are too obsessed about finding the most good-looking man, or the most successful man, instead of looking for their proper match.

It is best to look for someone with which you have a genuine connection, and really focus on him instead of focusing on all the other men who might be wealthier or better looking.

If you find a true connection with someone, hold on to them – connection is rare!