10 Fashion Don'ts For Dating (You Will Be Surprised By Some)

If you can't walk in your stilettos,
leave them at home.

(Originally appeared on The Huffington Post on June 17, 2013.)

Dating is hard enough, and when you have to throw in the age-old question of "what should I wear" into the mix, it can become downright maddening. The truth is, what you wear does matter because you only get one chance to make that good first impression so that you can get to that second date. I have spent some time asking men (I have thousands of them in my database) what turns them off about what woman wear on a date. And from those opinions, I have constructed this "Don'ts" list. Please don't shoot the messenger...

Don't wear black. I know that you prefer to wear your little black dress on a date. However, men just don't like women in black because they think it makes women seem older and unhappy. If you absolutely have to wear your LBD, then, at least, complement it with a colorful pashmina or a bright necklace to add some life into your look.

Don't wear a trend if it doesn't look good on you. I know you read Women's Wear and Vogue religiously, but a date is not the time to test out that new Alexander Wang look unless you absolutely know it looks great on you. A guy would rather see you rockin' your old standby than the trend of the moment that doesn't do justice to your figure.

Don't choose anything too va-va-voom to wear. Trust me, this will sends out the wrong message. You are better off teasing him with a hint of sexy and then leaving him wanting to see more.

Don't choose an outfit that looks like it came out of his closet.

Samantha's Dating Thought: Jump Start Your Summer Dating

If you're looking to get into a relationship this summer, I have some good news for you: summertime is a fantastic time to meet new people. The days are warm and the nights are long. Everybody is always out and about enjoying the sunshine. If you want to really jump start your summer dating, here are four tips:

Check out an outdoor movie screening
in your area, like this one in Bryant Park.

• Buy a new, flirty colorful sundress that you love. It will boost your confidence, not to mention the fact that men love women in sundresses. 
• Use this time to get back into that exercise routine that you let slide during the winter months. Try  joining a biking club, join a softball game, or even just walk around your city with a smile on your face. You will feel better about yourself, more fit and you might even meet someone this way.
• Keep an eye out for fun summertime events happening in your area, such as outdoor movie screenings or concerts in the park (check out Summerstage or the Bryant Park Summer Film Festival if you're in NYC). The more places you go, the more chances you have to meet someone great.
• Sign up for a group trip or outing to someplace you have always wanted to go. Best case scenario, you meet someone on the trip and worst case scenario, you make some new friends and get to see that place you have been dying to check out.

Samantha's Rooftop Bar Picks: Summer 2013

It’s definitely summertime in New York City, and you know what that means: tis the season for rooftop bars. Here are five of my favorite high altitude, open air hot spots for those long summer nights: 

Upstairs at the Kimberly Hotel

• Martini Bar at the Metropolitan Museum: Sophisticated yet understated, the Martini Bar at the Met has some of the best panoramic views of the Manhattan skyline. Drop by the Punk exhibit (through August 14) and then head up to the fifth floor for a very classy martini. 

• Sky Terrace at the Hudson Hotel: An oldie but a goodie. This 15th floor terrace has great little nooks with couches for lounging, as well as ten speciality sangrias. Could you ask for more for a summer night?

• Upstairs at the Kimberly Hotel: Towering 30 stories over Midtown, Upstairs at the Kimberly has a stunning interior design (part Louis XIV, part goth) and a very creative cocktail menu. Tres chic for an evening al fresco.

• Pool Lounge at the Dream Downtown: Make a splash in Meatpacking at this swanky poolside lounge. From the hotel lobby ceiling, you can see into the pool. How cool is that? 

• La Piscine at Hotel Americano: Sit back in one of the cozy cabanas at this pool bar and restaurant and enjoy the luxurious views of Chelsea and the Hudson River. It’s the perfect locale to watch the sun go down. 

Happy rooftop hopping!

Samantha's Dating Thought: Cell Phones And Dating Etiquette

I am always surprised to find that many people seem oblivious to the fact that it is rude to be on a cell phone during a date. I cannot emphasize this enough—it is very bad form to spend your date staring at your cell phone screen instead of paying attention to whomever you are with.

Follow these three rules to keep your dating etiquette in check:

• Turn your phone on silent, and keep it in your pocket or purse. It is never acceptable to keep it on the dinner table. 
• If you are expecting an urgent or otherwise very important phone call, tell your date up front so that he or she doesn't take it personally. 
• If you feel an overwhelming urge to text, tweet, Facebook, Instagram, etc., excuse yourself to the restroom.

Don't be rude.

10 Types of Friends Who Are Toxic to Your Dating Life

(Originally appeared on The Huffington Post on May 17, 2013.)

Have you ever wondered if you have friends in your life who are inhibiting you from meeting a great guy? Have you ever really considered which of your friends are truly good friends to you, like you are to them, and have your real best interests at heart? There is something to be said for going out on the town with the right kind of friends, friends who care about you, want you to meet someone great and help you look and feel your very best. If you are truly serious about meeting the One, it's time to take stock of your gals and get rid of these toxic friend types:

Are your friends hurting your dating life?

Miss Centerstage: This girl somehow always finds a way to make her stuff and herself seem better than whatever you have going on, especially when guys are around. She is the friend who shows up right as he is asking you for your number and makes herself seemmuch more interesting than you. And, then he promptly forgets all about you. Even on YOUR birthday, she figures out how to get all the attention. This girl is blowing your rap, so now you need to blow her out of your social circle.

Miss I Already Dated That Guy: This girl has been around the block a few times when it comes to dating. She has been out with just about every guy there is and she has somechoice words to share about each and every one of them. The result is that you fail to pursue many men because she "knows that you will never like him." This girl is not good for your posse; you need to make your own observations about the men you meet.

Miss Can't Handle Her Booze: This girl is basically a drunk, even as she sits there innocently sipping her white wine spritzer. She is always making a huge scene and needsmucho attention. Eventually, she scares off all the men. You know what you should doabout this friend.

Miss Blabbermouth: This girl just cannot keep a secret. She doesn't understand girl codeor the definition of the word private. This girl is a walking time bomb because you never know what is going to come out of her mouth that might embarrass you or put you in an awkward situation. If you keep this friend in your life, be very careful about the things you tell her, so you don't get caught in a big heap of dog-do.

Miss Always Having A Blonde Moment: This girl is a ditz regardless of her hair color. She has said,

Samantha's Dating Tip: How To Avoid First Date Butterflies

Do you get nervous before going on a first date? Do not despair; you are definitely not alone. No one is immune to the "first date butterflies". Even the sexiest of girls and the hottest of guys are afflicted! I have found that the one thing people seem to be most worried about is having nothing about which to talk. Luckily, there is an easy remedy: preparation.

Here are three tips on "prep work" you can do prior to a first date:

1. In many ways, a first date is similar to an interview. Accordingly, you can prepare a few questions that you would like to ask your date to keep the conversation flowing. Steer clear of religion and politics, but feel free to dive into family, work, travel, hobbies, etc. However, be sure that your date doesn't turn into an actual interview; give him some time to ask you questions too, and let the conversation flow freely from each question.

2. Everyone has great stories about their lives, but not everyone is good at telling them. Pick a few anecdotes that are fun and lighthearted, and rehearse them prior to your date (orally, or in your head). Travel stories are always interesting to hear (like that time you rode a Vespa in the South of France, or went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras), as well as anything that is funny or unique that has happened to you. And definitely be weary of stories that might put you in a bad light.

3. The day of your date, make sure that you read a newspaper, or at the very least, glance through some news headlines online. If something really important or interesting has happened that day or week, you do not want to draw a blank if your date brings it up in conversation. Furthermore, it will allow you to show off a knowledge of current events. You can lead with, "Did you hear that..."

If you're still nervous about blanking out, you can take some notes on your smartphone to serve as your back-up. Also, if there's an awkward lull in conversation, you can always go with a compliment. People love to be complimented.

Who knows,  with a little "prep work", you may find that you can even enjoy yourself on a first date!

Hamptons Early Intel: Summer 2013

Old Stove Pub, Bridgehampton, NY

Summer is around the corner and I have some early intel on some of the haunts in the Hamptons...

Opened finally…

Topping Rose (in the heart of Bridgehampton): We waited all last summer for Tom Colicchio's new restaurant, but it never opened. They finally got it together in the fall, so as we go into summer, it should be a-okay.

Old Stove Pub: Believe it or not, it's actually open already. I know, "shocking," but it is. It's under new management, so they managed to get it open before August for once.

New and already open…

Highway Diner (where Rugosa was in Wainscott):  How exciting, a diner further eas. tMenu looks good, it's kid friendly and they even have a root beer float on the menu. 

Mercado (where Agave was, next door to Bridgehampton Commons)-:Mexican again but looks more modern and together. Looks like a good one to try. 

Sad to see it go...

Whole Foods: The Wainscott outpost seems to be gone. What a shame!

Hamptons Players Club: Food was very good here. I wish they could have tried one more season.

Waiting to see…

Sienna Restaurant and Lounge (where Beaumarchais was in East Hampton): I am guessing this is going to be the same scene with just a different name. I never managed to get there last summer, maybe this summer.

BLT Steak (where Nobu was at the Capri Hotel): Since BLT Steak is one of my faves in the city, I am so excited about this opening. And thankfully they are finally closing that overpriced "cafeteria," they were trying to pass off as Nobu. Let's hope the Capri has their deal together this time around.