Friday, July 14, 2006


I don't know if there was just something in the air last night or if married men in NY have actually termed Thursday nights as "let's take off our ring night and hit on single girls" and this happens every Thursday night??

All I know is that last night, in a place that shall remain nameless, there were sooooo many married men being really inappropriate. Can I tell you that any of these men wound up cheating on their wives, I can't say, and I have no idea, but what I do know is that they wasted a lot of single women's time.

Married men think that as long as they are innocently flirting that they are not doing anything wrong. I bet their wives would beg to differ. Moreover, forget about these guys’ consciences for a moment, what of the single girls who they are flirting with? Single girls, at least the good ones, don’t want to be hit on by married men, innocently or otherwise, they don’t want to waste their time, however short, talking to a guy who is not available yet leading her to believe that he is.

I used to think that all you had to do was covertly observe his left hand, and if there was ring, then he was unavailable, no ring, available or at least not wedded in holy matrimony. But a lot of these guys, don’t wear a ring, or go so far as to take it off when they are trolling predominantly singles spots. Can we say sooooo inappropriate???

And I am completely in support of a guy’s night out, I think guys should absolutely have nights where they do their guy thing without the ladies. We, ladies want our girl’s night too. And I don’t really need to know what happens on guys nights but I guess I need to think, no know in my head that my guy will behave appropriately and clearly hitting on an obviously single, available and interested in meeting a guy girl for an extended period of time, crosses the line, for sure. And I am fairly certain that every girl out there would agree. You wouldn’t want us to do it to you!

So, here’s some words of advice for the married men, if you are really only innocently flirting or trying to talk to some interesting new people as I heard one scumball, I mean married man say to a woman he was talking to, this one was married with 3 kids and visiting from Washington DC. You owe it to the single woman to be clear quickly that you are married and unavailable. This doesn’t mean you have to say, "Hi, I’m Bob and I’m married" or have it branded on your head, but it does mean that within the first 5 to 10 minutes of the conversation you delicately drop it in so that if the single girl is actually out on a Thursday night trying to meet someone available, she can excuse herself instead of waste her precious time on you.

In addition, it is wholly inappropriate to stare lasciviously at a pretty single girl and smile at her if you really are only looking to make interesting new friends; what’s wrong with those new friends being of the male persuasion?

Or what’s wrong with have conversation with groups of new and interesting people as opposed to cornering one woman and have a one on one conversation with her if you really are only looking to meet new people? Nothing. But the question really is are you being honest about what you are doing?

There are a lot of women out there who will cheat with you, I would say its only fair to try to go after the ones who are like that instead of taking up the time of a single girl who had the diluted perception that you might be a good guy and you might be someone with whom she could be, sometime on the distant future interested in holy matrimony.

I am in the business of love and I help people get married so the whole cheating thing or innocent flirting thing really does not sit well with me…. Call me crazy!!!


  1. Ridiculous. Married women do it too.

    This is just man bashing. Don't worry though it is a very hip thing to do. Why don't you just write a blog about how inconsiderate men are for leaving the toilet seat up? It would be equally creative.

    Cheating is not a phenomenon owned by men OR women. Statistics show (depending on who you read) that both sexes are cheating A LOT and almost equally.

    It is a phenomenon of our culture and of our times.

    And in this era of changing mores, women and men - testing the limits of fidelity and pushing their vows to the edge has become common place. 'Ladies night out?', 'men's night out?'... I say don't be naive.

  2. I'm a single woman and I can agree with you about married men and cheating. My girlfriend wasted an entire night out talking to a man she thought was single until his friend mentioned his family in front of her. Women are doing it also. They are taking the single guys away from us. They are either married and having an affair or married and looking to have fun for the night...meanwhile I'm single and would love to meet another single guy.

  3. I love how idealistic you are about love, it so refreshing and gives me hope that there are actual women out there who still believe in true love.

  4. Are you seriously going to bars in hopes of meeting a nice guy? Isnt that like fishing in the East river hoping to get something good for dinner?

  5. Back when I was a single guy, what used to frustrate me was single girls that wore rings on the left ring finger to make themselves seem unavailable.

    As for being married and talking to women in a bar. I do subtly let them know I'm married (and I don't take off my ring), and I'm actually trying to simply have a nice conversation.

  6. Great post! I have some flirting advice on my site for women! You can heck it:)