An Interview With I-ELLA

(Originally appeared on I-Ella.com)

The holiday of love is behind us, and if you didn't have a Valentine's this time around maybe this article will help! Matchmaker Samantha Daniels knows a lot about what it takes to find the perfect person for you (she’s helped 126 couples get married), and fashion has a lot to do with it! Check out what Samantha – also the author ofMatchbook: The Dairy of a Modern-Day Matchmaker and co-creator of the former TV series “Miss Match” – has to say about the secret to looking great and feeling great on your first date. 

I-ELLA: Tell us a little about your background and how you got into the matchmaking business:

Samantha:  I was a divorce attorney, and on the side, I was throwing parties for my single friends. Because I wanted to be a good hostess, at the parties, I would always introduce people to each other so that they would know each other and they would have more fun. And so, I found that I had a photographic memory for names and faces and I could remember that she was from Chicago and he was from Chicago and they both liked to play tennis, so I would bring them to meet each other just to be a good hostess. 

I-ELLA: What’s the secret to connecting? What’s the essence of it?

Samantha: What I do is I listen to people. I kind of get a sense of their energy, what they enjoy, what they don’t enjoy, what their life is like, and then I pick people for them that have sort of that same outlook, that same energy, who I really see clicking. It’s about laughing at the same jokes, finding the same things to be annoying, continually having that unspoken language between the two people. 

I-ELLA: How does fashion relate to what you do as a matchmaker?

Samantha: I think that when you’re dating, you really only get one chance to make a good first impression, so it’s really important what you’re wearing and, most importantly, that you feel good in what you’re wearing. Because if you don’t feel good in what you’re wearing, then even though it might be the trendiest, most fashionable thing, you’re there spending so much time wondering, “How do I look? Does it fit me? Do I look good? Does it work for me?” and you’re not really putting your best foot forward. So when I give fashion advice for people when they’re going out on dates, we talk about trends and what’s in and what’s hip, but at the same time we talk about what works for them and what they feel really comfortable and confident in, because that’s going to make them be the most flirtacious and the most beautiful to the guy.

I-ELLA: What kind of fashion advice, if any, do you give to your clients when they go on dates? Are there first-date fashion rules that ladies should follow?

Samantha: First of all,

Love at first site?

Do you believe in love at first site? Is it possible for you to meet someone when you are a child, have a momentary infatuation and then end up together much later on?? Can there be that one person who you met for just a moment in time, two ships passing in the night who is your intended?

I will tell you why I am asking...

I have the cutest niece; everyone, even little boys who are supposed to think girls have cooties, thinks she is adorable. Well, yesterday, we were out to lunch at a place called Christopher's, a super kid-friendly restaurant in the burbs of Philadelphia, you know the type of place- all the placements are coloring book pages, there are crayons on the tables and every kid gets a balloon upon entry. Well, needless to say, there were a lot of kids there especially on the day after Thanksgiving when no schools are in session.

We sat down at a table next to another family and right away, my three year niece started flirting with the boy sitting at the table next to ours. Yup, she was flirting, batting her eyes and giggling a lot (yes, she takes after her aunt!) I might not have been so fascinated with their flirtation except for the fact that the boy wasn't 3 like my niece is, he was much older, he had to be at least 8 years old, a young man! And he was so taken with my 3 year old niece.

They chatted for the next little while, mostly with the little boy teasing my niece and asking her questions. We discovered that the family was from Vermont, they were visiting their relatives in Philadelphia for Thanksgiving and that the boy was 10. We teased him that 10 might be a little old for a 3 year old, but he immediately retorted that his parents were 7 years apart as well.

Then, I, being the perma-matchmaker, made a joke that, perhaps, in 7 years, he could return to our neighborhood, go to college here and date our precocious niece when he was 18 and she was 11. He seemed to like this idea and reassured us that right after lunch, they were going to go on a campus tour!

Then, I told my niece to ask him his name which she did and to her utter glee, his name was Jack, the same name as her new 3 months old baby brother! The big Jack got a kick out of this coincidence as well because he told us that his dad had the same name as his mom's brother, whereby insinuating that if he and my niece ended up together, they would be just like his parents- 7 years apart and with the same ironic name game combination!

The meal ended and to both big Jack and my niece's disappointment, Jack and his family took their leave. Jack said goodbye to my niece and to us and walked off with his family. On the way out the door, I saw him glance back one more time, for that one last glance.

It made me wonder...maybe my niece and Jack had that chance encounter, that one moment that we are all waiting for our whole lives and maybe they didn't even know it. Big Jack was joking around but maybe he knew something without even knowing it, that he met his girl! Maybe somehow he just felt that pull towards my niece and felt that some time, far off in the future they would meet again, somehow, someway and remember the baby talk at Christopher's on the day after Thanksgiving.

Perhaps we all met "him" or "her" when we were young and carefree and don't even realize it. Perhaps our boyfriends or husbands were in our lives in the past and are intended to come back around when the time is right. Perhaps...

I believe in fate. Do you?