Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Opposites attract? Or do they?

Most people pick a significant other with whom they have so many things in common that they are finishing each other’s sentences by the end of week one. While others prefer the opposites attract theory and find that one counterpart who always say “left" when they say “right”.

My theory as a matchmaker has always been to try to introduce people who have as many things in common as possible because I think that this will make it easier down the road. Furthermore, I have found that once the excitement of the differences wears off, those very differences often times can kill the relationship. However, some people are all for the opposites attract theory, so let's discuss...

Take for example Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz. It would appear that they are attracted to each other because of their differences. We have Penelope who prefers gourmet food and the European nightlife while Matthew who would rather be hanging out in ripped jeans and grabbing a cheeseburger, yet they have been together for quite some time.

How do differences like these affect a relationship? What are the warning signs that the differences are too great? And what can you do to make a relationship based on differences work? Here are some tips for making your opposites attract relationship stronger…

Be aware of your differences. Don’t pretend that they don’t exist because they will flare up eventually and at that point it might be too late to work through them.

If differences start causing issues between you, talk to your partner about them and try to figure out a medium ground.

When picking a mate it is okay to pick someone who is not your identical twin but don’t pick someone with so many divergent beliefs and interests that when the excitement wears off you have no basis for a relationship.

Take an interest in your significant other’s interests that you know nothing about; this way you can share that with him and this will demonstrate that you care about the things that he cares about.

Realize that it is okay to have some differences between you and its okay for there to be some alone time in the relationship. Perhaps it would be healthy for him to go camping with his buddies and you to go antiquing with yours.

1 comment:

  1. Exactly, I think there has to be a healthy balance between differences in attitude and interests (which caused the attraction in the first place and keep the fire burning..) and things you have in common, in order to have some substance to build a stable and lasting relationship upon.
    Some time together and some time alone - the key is balance, I think.