Houseguest etiquette

Overstaying your welcome....

How much is too much? In the summertime, alot of people become freeloaders, the permanent guest, you know what i am talking about. Big debate this weekend in the hamptons- how do you ask to stay if you want to be a houseguest, how long can you stay and how can you ask someone to leave if they have been a mooch for too long? And the sitch of course gets all the more complicated if the visitor is a sexual playmate-- if he or she is sleeping in your bed and your bed is equipped for two- how can you really tell someone to leave? Let's discuss houseguest etiquette....

1. the houseguest should come armed with a gift- maybe a bottle of wine, maybe flowers, maybe a good book but something...

2. the houseguest should be ready, willing and able to sexually service the person he or she is visiting on command, well, maybe not on command, but often. After all why else would that person be willing to so readily share their bed?

3. The houseguest should treat you to at least one dinner during the course of the weekend.

4. The houseguest should feel comfy to stay for 2 days, but after the 2 days it should be the houseguests responsibility to broach the "should i leave question" and broach it in such a way that the person the houseguest is freeloading off of feels like he or she can say "time to go buddy" without being rude.

5. The houseguest should never hog the phone, computer or bathroom, nor should he flood the toilet.

6. The houseguest should offer help around the house whenever he or she sees fit whether this means handyman things or general house chores.

7. If the houseguest showed up unannounced, he or she should realize that perhaps there were other plans in place before his or her arrival and should not get upset if he or she can't be included.


On the flip side- the person housing the guest should keep in mind that the summer is casual, not everyone can be so lucky to have a place to vacation, that making new friends is always nice and playing outside one's comfort zone can always be interesting...

Thoughts....