Monday, June 26, 2006

BAD MOVE, DUDES!

Time to vent. What is up with these men who think that it is right, normal even, to take a girl on a date, wine her, dine her, stay out with her for several hours, kiss her goodbye, on the lips, say they will call, not "soon" but actually "tomorrow" and then poof, they vanish, never to be heard from again? I am so sick of hearing this story.

Hello, men, don't you get it? Girls don't want to be led on. Don't kiss and promise things if you are not going to follow thru. Don't be cowards, we can take it, we are all adults. You are not into us, that's okay, there are other fish out there, and chances are we probably weren't that into you either, so just say goodnight, don't waste our time and our feelings!!

Some rules for the guys... to exit gracefully...

1. Just exit gracefully. Try saying "Good night, I had a nice time" or "Good night, it was nice meeting you"

2. Do NOT say, "I will call you", "let's get together again" or "Can't wait to see you again." if you have no intention of doing any of the above.

3. If you are on the fence about wanting to get together again, THIS IS OKAY. We might be on the fence too. So... say thank you, make NO mention of the next date, go home, process the date, obsess over it if you are an obsessing guy and then make the decision in the privacy of your own about your next move.

(Too many men tell me that the reason why they say "I will call you" and then wind up not calling is because in the moment, at the end of the date, they think that they are going to call, that they liked the girl and would like to go out again. However, when they get home and gain some distance and review the date, they decide that although the evening itself was a lot of fun, this girl specifically isn't really for them long-term, so they decide not to call. And they say, girls change their minds a lot!

This makes sense, and by all means, process the date and make a decision, just leave us out of that decision making process by making no promises to us! And yes, the sentence "I will call you" gets interpreted by a woman as a promise, every, single time!)

4. Believe me, I am a matchmaker and listen to all of this every single day, girls 100% prefer no mention of another date if you are not planning on calling over you saying you are going to call and then you don't. She doesn't want to go home, tell her friends or her parents that she had a great date, will definitely be seeing you again, only to be blown off by you.

5. Get comfortable with the notion that we girls will not die or even cry if you don't end the night with a promise of a call- we can handle this, we can. Just let us handle it.

Thoughts?

3 comments:

  1. First off, I'd like to say I'm a huge fan of Miss Match and it's my favourite show of all time and it's crazy to be able to connect with the person the show was based off of!

    You make some very good notable points. The problem I think with this situation is that the guy doesn't want to end up being the bad guy and they don't want to hurt her feelings. Now, like you said, you won't die or even cry, but I think that men just don't know how to let her down without feeling guilty. Men alike know girls like to gossip, not that all women do, they are all individually unique, but I don't think a man wants the girl he let down telling another woman with scorn that he did so. I think it's just fear overall. Fear of hurting her, fear of being a jerk, and fear of what could come out of the situation.

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