Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Almost out of friends...

Making friends in the "real world" is an interesting phenomenon. Right?

In high school and college it was easy- you met people in your classes, in your dorm, in a drunken stupor at a keg party! It was even easy to make friends when you were first out of school and working because you had both your high school and college friends to fall back on and the groups just kept expanding and everyone was just about six degrees of separation.

But then things started to change.... alot of your friends coupled up, a bunch got married, some moved to the suburbs and some got obsessed with working long hours so that they could afford the McMansion they overpaid for in the Hamptons. And then fast forward to now... you may be out of single friends or very near close to a deficit.

So what now??? You don't want to admit that you are out of friends, that you are panicked about with whom you are going to go to that next charity event, and with whom you are going to ring in the New Year; however, truth is truth, you are hurting in the friends category.

Here are some tips for finding some new friends, or at least for supplementing the ones you've got...


Go through your address book and send a "Hello it's been so long" email to some friends of the past. Chances are they will be super excited to hear from you.

Suggest staying in touch to someone who you meet through a mutual friend

If you like your current friends, chances are, you will probably get along reasonably well with their friends. So at the end of the next 35th birthday dinner you attend this week, trade emails with the person sitting to your left instead of just air-kissing them goodbye.

Don't stand on ceremony- you reach out first.

Desperate people must acknowledge their desperation and do something to fix the issue. Let's face it, you need friends and you need plans. Don't wait for someone to connect you, you do the contacting. And don't be embarrassed if you need to reach out two times before you get a reply.

Plan a "new friend get-together".

You are making new friends, perhaps they would all like to meet. Become Julie the cruise director and plan a dinner, people will be very flattered to be invited and will, in turn, invite you to something.

Don't be uncomfortable going out alone.

In most cities, it is totally accpetable to show up to an event alone especially during the week. You are better off going alone than sitting home alone.

Guilt your married best friend into being your wing-man.

Remind him or her how many upteen-times you were there for him or her in the past. Guilting them works every time!

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