MEN WITH BIG MOUTHS

The other night I went out for a juicy steak at Quality Meats, that new, very posh steak house in midtown and I ran into a guy who I knew back in the day when dorky guys were still dorky guys because they had yet to make their financial killing. Remember those days??

Well…believe you me he was one of those guys. I remember he always talked too much. I also remember he had this major crush on me, I am talking major; he asked me out about a gazillion times and I always said no. I remember one time I agreed to go with him to a Giants game “as a friend” I was clear on that, but he went and told everyone that we had a date, a day date no less which sounded really serious to a lot of our friends. Needless to say that was our last non-date date of any sort.

So fast forward about 7 or 8 years. IThere I was, minding my own business eating my petit Filet and chitchatting about dating, of course, with my female friend and up comes Mr. Non-date date from yesterdays past. He’s married now, had a company, sold it for bucks and now he thinks he’s really cool, I mean really cool.

I said hi to him and asked him how he was. “Well,” he said almost proudly, “my wife and I almost got a divorce last night.” "Oh,” I said, “I am sorry to hear that.” And I glanced at my friend a little uncomfortably. He went on to say, “Well you know marriage is really hard and if it weren’t for our son we probably wouldn’t be together right now. I think she’s a great girl and everything but I am just not sure we should be married. Our sex life is basically non existent and we fight all the time” My head started exploding a bit; can we say TMI!!! Too much information, did he really think that I, pretty much of a stranger to him at this point, needed to or wanted to hear that he is in a bad marriage or that he almost got divorced. How dumb was he? And his poor wife! I wanted to run not walk to my computer and send her an email and anonymously tell her that her husband was a putz and that she should talk to him about keeping their private problems private. The poor girl.

But as if this wasn’t bad enough, he went on to ask me if he were single would I go out with him. Now first of all, this is a really rude, I mean an incredibly rude question to ask a single girl because it’s really just a self serving hypothetical because he's not single and therefore not avaialble in anyway. Look at it this way, say I liked the Bozo- it was like he was taunting me just so he could feel good about himself. I didn’t even dignify the question with an answer. He smirked a bit and shuffled his feet, “oh come on Samantha if I were single, wouldn’t you go out with me? You never would in the past but admit it, now you would.”

I looked at him, and said sweetly “Why? So when it doesn’t work out between us, you walk around telling random people? Sounds like something to really look forward to!" And with that I turned away, leaving him in a state of confusion. The sad thing is I don’t even think he had any clue what I was talking about!