Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Make New Friends but keep the Old

I just spent one of my first weekend in the Hamptons. In some ways it felt like an extension of summers past- we had dinner at one of my favorites, the Palm, and the same cast of colorful Hamptons notables were there as always, we stopped into Bobby Van’s for a little look-see and like clock work at about 11 pm, the woman with the enhanced lips and boob job sauntered in and we did our sunset bike-ride around the neighborhood and oohed and ahhed over the eight million dollar Post Modern on the corner and the Malibu-esque contemporary overlooking the beach. Yet, as much as things seemed the same, they were actually very different and people all around me seemed to realize that as well. I heard one woman in a dotted Swiss white baby doll dress at a Meadow Lane dinner party lament about her ex-guy who was now with a bleached blond, I heard another gal, the incognito type with a baseball hat and Nicole Richie sunglasses at Poxobogue exclaim about how the tall media guy who was a confirmed bachelor finally got hitched. And I heard a guy in flip flops and a black Polo shirt with a big horse on it joke about how he missed his share buddies of yesteryear, even the ones he didn’t really think he liked.
All the chatter made me wonder if people really wanted to turn back time or if they would just be better off looking to the future and approaching summer 2007 with gusto. After all, .if America is the land of opportunity, the Hamptons is definitely the land of making new friends, and having new adventures. So if meeting and greeting- whether it’s to replenish your rolodex, locate a tennis partner or find a person with whom to stroll in the moonlight- is your goal for your summer vacation, here are a few tips about how to optimize those encounters and meet someone great.

1. As you begin to reconnect with people who you haven’t seen in awhile, make sure you let them know you are single and would like to meet someone. Most times, people will only make an introduction, after you have asked them to do so.

2. Keep in mind that just because you see someone out with a person of the opposite sex does not necessarily mean that they are taken. Remember people have platonic friendships and brothers and sisters of the opposite sex too!

3. Try bonding over your hobbies. If you love to go bike riding, let people know that and someone will surely join you. If you love to golf, spend time at the driving range and chances are, you will be invited to go play nine holes.

4. Try sitting at a bar alone and talking to the people around you. By doing this, you will be so much more approachable than when you are surrounded by a pack of your friends.

5. Say hello to people on the street and in the restroom line. If people in New York did this more often, they would have the entry to strike up more interesting conversations.

6. Keep in mind that although new friends seem interesting that it is equally important to maintain your old friendships as well. You can never have too many friends.


  1. Samantha, I just finished reading Matchbook! I loved it! I am also an aspiring matchmaker. I have successfully matched several couples and some gay couples as well! Anyways, I was wondering if you would ever hold classes for Matchmakers. You are an inspiration. I also have a similar background as yours. I have an MBA from one of the Top 3 business schools and know hundreds of eligible, well educated, active singles in the Bay Area. I have organized sold out speed dating events which led to 2 marriages. And have helped to raise funds for charity through my speed dating events. We should talk!

  2. Older friends can be a HUGE resource for finding dates. Especially women. For some reason they love to set up younger friends with dates. And they always know someone available.


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  4. Nice post. Some of these tips really work for me. I met my love on wealthyromance.com. She is my best friend and companionship in my life.

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  7. Very good points. I especially like the advice about not being in the middle of a group of friends the whole time one is out. It is very intimidating to approace anyone in that setting.


  8. That's right.
    Finding new friends, being open to new encounters is equally important as maintaining good contact with people already close to us.
    This is especially important when starting a new love relationship - not to neglect your closest friends..

  9. i appreciate your tips.

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  10. friends is a classic show... always fun to rewatch the series :D
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