Sunday, November 30, 2008

Should you throw in your towel for a "maybe"?

In our 20's, deciding if we liked someone romantically was easy. It was yes or no, period. No "deliberating", no "maybe he can grow on me,", it was just yes or no. But in our 30's, things change dramatically. There are a whole lot of maybes. Maybe he will get more interesting, maybe he will get better in bed, maybe Viagra could make his you know what bigger, maybe he would make a good father, maybe I can teach him not to be a selfish pig. Like I said, there are a whole lot of maybes.

Are maybes bad? Not necessarily- they mean you are giving someone a chance, opening up your horizons, loosening your list of must haves, growing up. But is it possible that you might say maybe just too many times with this particular guy? Is it possible that you want to be in a relationship so badly that you are pretty much overlooking everything?

Relationships are hard and no one is perfect but someone who you choose to spend the rest of your life with should have a lot of yeses, very few nos and just a couple of maybes. If you base your whole relationship on a maybe, you are never going to know if the relationship can work until it is too late.
So don't wait six months to sleep with him because he has small hands and you are worried that his you know what is going to be microscopic; take a look/see now and see just how bad it is FOR YOU, it might not be so bad.

And don't wait six months to tell him that he becomes a rude bastard when he is drinking, tell him now and see if he can curb his drinking or curb his mouth.

And don't wait six months to ask him what he really does for work, ask him now because if he doesn't have a real job or doesn't make any money to speak of, you need to decide now if you are in a mental and economic place to support yourself, your future children and him.

Then, if some of your maybes become flat out "no's", do the right thing for yourself and move on. Contrary to what some people might tell you, what you see right now, is what you are going to get.

So make sure that you want it, all of it. Otherwise you are just throwing in that "single towel" upon which you have held onto so closely for a maybe, and we all know deep down what a maybe really means.


  1. Yes Yes .. relationship is getting harder everytime as age increase. Perhaps of maturity and expectation.

    K Amber

    Free and Easy Way to understand All On Relationship Dating

  2. written by a woman who is still single in her 40s who throws herself at men that hit on other women right in front of her. great matchmaker that Samantha Daniels is...i wouldnt listen to her dating advice

  3. I am a male and I can say that it goes bothways as girls are like that too ,,
    One thing for sure is that we cannot expect our partner to be something else , we have to accept the reality as it is , if we dont like what we see then it is in our own power to change it and get what we are after.
    All we need to do is step out of the blame game to start with.

  4. Hello,

    Did you know there is a FREE little book available about finding true love? It is called “Instant Love Machine- Get the keys to mastering LOVE relationships in 60 minutes or less”. Really!

    It is a wonderful little Ebook you can go through quickly and has some very surprising and easy to understand information. It is getting marvelous reviews and is free to download before it goes into print. You can even give feedback that might be incorporated in the final print version.

    Check it out at