Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Don't be a Fraidy Cat!

Samantha- I read what you wrote good advice. But…how do you know if it’s okay to broach New Years Eve delicately? I want to broach, I really do but I am afraid that I might not be entitled to broach or it might freak my guy out. And I think I like this one, for once. Help!

New Years eve… People get so worked up about it. Usually the most fun New Year eves are the ones that aren’t planned and wind up being spur of the moment and unexpected. Plus, it sucks when you have just met someone new in December. You are stuck in “in between land”. Let’s see... how to know if you can broach delicately…

Rules of thumb

If you have not been out with him at least 5 times, it is too soon to broach! I don’t care if each of your first two dates were 7 hours each and if you had mind blowing sex with him; it’s still too soon to bring anything up.

If you have not fooled around with him yet, it’s too soon too broach. A lingering kiss when he walks you home, is not fooling around, I am talking about the fooling around where most of your clothes end up on the floor.

If you have already sort of broached the subject and he hasn’t bit, do not broach again. The more you bring it up, the less chance he will ask you to spend New Years eve with him.

You need to try to understand your man. If he is the take charge, I need to do the asking type, don’t broach at all, he will broach if and when he wants to.

A scheming broaching technique- go out with some of your friends, and let one of them bring it up, then you are stuck in the conversation but you aren’t guilty for starting it. But make extra special certain that the friend you enlist to do the broaching for you, is cool about it, she needs to bring it up very innocently so he will never suspect that you put her up to it. Pick a self absorbed friend who will drone on and on about her own plans for the holidays and then as an afterthought turn to you guys and say what are you guys do for New Years. Again, only do this if you have been out with him more than 5 times, otherwise, it could be very awkward.

And last word of advice, if you are on the fence about whether or not you think you are in a situation that would allow for broaching, again pick a deadline date for when you bring the topic up, pick a date that is as far enough out in the distance to leave him room to broach on his own (because we know that men like to do the asking). And make sure you make that deadline date beforeDec 30- you are not being fair or respectful to yourself with a date one day before New Year's eve. I think that he asks by Christmas could be a fair unless another invitation comes up before then and then you need to use your best judgment.

Good luck!

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